I’m in Scotland over Easter so here’s a poem.

Tommorow I leave for Scotland. I probably won’t be able to post this Easter, so here’s an Easter poem:

‘Twas The Night Before Easter

‘Twas the night before Easter when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Baskets were hidden ready for the sweets,

chocolate, creme- eggs and other lovely eats.

The children were nestled, all snug in their beds,

While rabbits and baby lambs danced in their heads.

With the brothers in their bedrooms, and me in my cap,

had just settled our brains for a Spring night’s nap.

When out on the lawn there came such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter,

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw back the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-grown flowers,

Shone bright despite the early hours,

Then to my wandering eye came an image so funny,

There on the grass stood the jolly Easter Bunny.

He hopped a lot, it seemed quite a habit,

I knew it must be the Easter Rabbit,

He bounced like a kangaroo with springs on his legs,

And his nose twitched as he called out the colours of his eggs.

“Now red, now, blue, now purple with Stripes!

“Now black, now yellow, now turqoise, now white!

Behind the porch! On top of the wall!

Hide them, hide them, hide them all!

As dry leaves that stay in the place where they fell,

Whether under on top of a bush or down in a well,

They’d roll for a bit, then suddenly stop,

Then all around them the rabbit would hop.

And then in a twinkling I heard in the dirt,

The prancing and pawing of each little foot,

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

The bunny leapt to the door with a bound.

He was covered all in fur, from his head to his tail,

A rabbit the size of a very small whale,

A basket of eggs he carried on his back,

and he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled, his whiskers, how merry!

His teeth were all sticking-out, his nose like a cherry!

His brown, big ears stood up straight as a line,

and the fur on his back had a parting so fine.

The stump of a carrot held tight in his teeth,

And the leaves they encircled his head like a wreath,

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed like a bowllful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a jolly little bunny,

I laughed when I saw him, he looked so funny!

A wiggle of his tail and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And hid all the eggs then turned with a jerk,

And with a waffle of his nose and a wink of his eye,

He hopped away and waved goodbye!

He sprang with his basket in a sort of jog,

And hop-ran away like an exitable frog.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he hopped out of sight,

“Happy Easter to all, and to all a good-night!”


PS: Here’s the original poem, read it, it makes mine seem funnier:



The dangers of sitting cross-legged!

Should be banned!!!

Should be banned!!!

Sitting cross legged is dangerous.

Today during assembly I sat cross legged for so long I lost all feeling in my foot. When I stood up at the end it was like balancing a-top a cricket ball. My foot fell of side-ways causing me to trip. As I sat rubbing the feeling back into my sleeping foot it began to feel better and I managed to limp to the door. My foot began to feel as normal … Before crippling pins and needles left me limping again.

I’ve never been comfotable with it anyway. I’m one of those people who limps away from assembly, pins and needles stabbing my every step!

Unfortunately I had to sit cross legged soon after. We had a drama lesson and Mr. Fairgrass invented this wierd new game near the end to help us concentrate.

We had to pretend we were part of a strange new religion and this little toy chinese good luck cat (whom we named Mew-Chu) was our holiest object (but you could tell that by holiest object he meant ‘God’!)

There were rules like:

  1. During prayer time nobody must laugh, talk, or disrespect the great Mew-Chu in any way.
  2. During prayer time one must be in a position for prayer (which in Mr Fairgrass’ world is sitting cross legged.
  3. Nobody can get too close to the great Mew-Chu and nobody must avert their gaze away from him.
  4. Everybody has to be called brother or sister. I don’t mean in a ‘family’ kind of way, I mean in a nun or monk kind of way.
  5. Mr Fairgrass is the Grandmaster aka high priest, guru, Pope ect. (I kept wanting to yell out to everyone “I have been touched by the great Mew-Chu, he has chosen me to serve him as the new Grandmaster!”)
  6. Any brother or sister caught breaking the rules of the high church of the great Mew-Chu must be brought before the Grandmaster to be told their forfeit. The four whom disgraced themselves in the presence of Mew-Chu were sentenced to three forfiets. The first few were sentenced to walk around the circle clucking like chickens. The third had to crawl around on all fours, the third had to ask Sarah’s hand in marriage. Judging by how everything else had gone if Sarah had excepted she would have had an interesting ceremony. I can imagine her now, kneeling before the Great One, both lovers sleeping at opposite ends of the playing field on beds of pencil shavings. Blind-folded, only able to uncover their eyes and speak again when, in full gaze of Mew-Chu the Grandmaster joined them in holy matrimony!

Did I mention the cat was just a head with arms, legs and ears? With a really cross face?

Just join us, and the Great one will give you eternal blessing.

A greater tradgedy than Hamlet!

Today I had to do a presentation in front of the class on a theme park (latest project). Our group did an advert written by me, with some help from Harry. Here’s the basic plot:

  1. A little boy called Mike is dissapointed by no presents or cake on his birthday.
  2. His Dad sends him to the ‘rat infested cellar’. When…
  3. The Joyride Busdriver appears through a magic door (Joyride was the theme park name and the busdriver was our mascot.)
  4. She takes him to Joyride.  Thanks her and she says “Don’t thank me, thank Joyride!”
  5. The narrator says “Go to Joyride kids! Say goodbye to all your problems!”

Here is what actually happened:

  1. Mike and Harry (the Dad) started before Zara could narrate and she refused to say another word throughout the performance because of this. She said it wouldn’t make sense. (I was a bit irritated about this. Tara made me write her a script. She was the only character to have one and she didn’t use it, whereas other characters forgot their lines for want of one.)
  2. Harry sent Mike to the rat infested cellar. Instead of going under the table as we had planned. Due to some planning Harry had vaguely talked about the cellar was now in the hall. Now if it weren’t for the fact that the busdriver appears in the the cellar scene MAKING IT ARGUABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT SCENE, THE SORT THAT CAN’T BE DONE IN A HALLWAY!!! I told the the audience it was a technical hitch and ran out to tell Mike to get under that table.
  3. Zara was supposed to say “Something magic happened!” when I went under the table, to alert viewers that I wasn’t just going in for a chat, I was appearing through a secret door. Unfortunately she was doing her silent act so I hissed at Mikes “Say something magic is happening”! That’s when Dad the guy who isn’t supposed to be seeing this, us being in a different room said (in a wooden voice) “Something magic is happening!”
  4. On his big thanking scene Mike forgot his lines. Rather that hissing “what do I do?!!” or ad-libbing he just stood there saying “Wasn’t I supposed to do something here now what was it, umm…”
  5. This almost didn’t happen, what with our narrators setting being firmly on ‘mute.’ In the end I had to say the line.

Honestly, look what I have to work with!


Zara isn’t amused

Today in science Zara was sent out for talking in the first few minutes. Astoundingly he teacher procceeded to forget all about her! The whole class kept the secret. They kept saying Zara was alright with it, until the end where Lenny said “You know we were just kidding yoou about that. Zara wasn’t okay with it, she had to stand up for an hour!”

At one point a teacher opened the door really wide, as far as it would go revealing Zara. The whole class was laughing, while the teacher looked at a notoriously naughty boy and said laughingly

“Alex are you doing something you shouldn’t do while I’m not looking?”


At the end of the lesson (yes she missed an entire LESSON!) we told the teacher. Who kept Zara behind at the end of the lesson to tell her off for talking!!!

‘Yeah, umm… Mrs Brush… I think she’s learnt her lesson. Maybe next time you send a student out of the room you should tie a knot in your hankerchief to remind you to let them back in…’

Before being sent out of the room.

Before being sent out of the room.After being sent out of the room.

After being sent out of the room.


Crosstick poem.

(Because I had nothing better to write . . .  )

Not doing much.

Only playing on my laptop.

The parents are re-decorating for when the estate agents come ’round.

Half the time Henry plays on the wii.

Italian food for tea.

Nothing to do anyway.

Got nothing else to write a post about, so I decided to write about this.


The Croods

My laptop broke a few weeks ago, now it is fixed unfortunately from Easter Saturday I’m in Scotland.

Today I went to see The Croods in 3D. It’s got great graphics, really pretty to look at. It tells the story of a family of Neanderthals who live in terror. Staying in their cave for days at a time, telling each other stories about cute animals who try to explore and have adventures and die and generally living up to their family motto: Never not be afraid. (Maybe soon it will join Carpe Deim, your never fully dressed without a smile and be the best that you can be as one of the most encouraging motto’s in history.) The family is made up of the father: Grug, the mother Ugga, the baby girl Sandy, the eldest daughter Eep, the only son Thunk and Ugga’s anonymous mother.

Eep is more adventurous than the rest of her family and sneaks out one night and meets Homo Sapien, Guy. (Guy, imaginative name.) Plus his pet sloth Belt whom he wears around his waist.

One day the relativley realistic caveman setting is destroyed to reveal a far more surreal world. It is full of multicoloured plants and flowers, giant branches and looks a bit like pictures I’ve seen of Pandora from Avatar. There are incredibly weird animals, such as elephant-mice, birds with turtle shells, a whale with legs and a flock of pirahna birds.

Even the animals you would expect look a little strange! Giant tie-die sabre-tooth tigers, giraffe print mammoths and ginormous, carniverous lemurs.

It’s heart-warming, funny and very tense and sad in some parts. Here are two questions I have: (If you haven’t seen it then please look away.)



  1. Throughout the film there is a running joke in which they tempt animals over with crude models of a female of their speciesm so at one point they are trying to tempt a bird so they can get it’s egg. Surely if it has an egg it must be a girl, yet the model is still a female (either that or a male wearing a lot of makeup. Since when are birds gay or lesbian?
  2. At the end all the Croods have pets. Not only were most of the pets trying to kill the family earlier in the movie, but the others were food! They survive primarily on meat, there seems to be little edible vegitation in their world. So what are they going to eat?!!




If you haven’t watched it you can look now. 😀