The dangers of sitting cross-legged!

Should be banned!!!

Should be banned!!!

Sitting cross legged is dangerous.

Today during assembly I sat cross legged for so long I lost all feeling in my foot. When I stood up at the end it was like balancing a-top a cricket ball. My foot fell of side-ways causing me to trip. As I sat rubbing the feeling back into my sleeping foot it began to feel better and I managed to limp to the door. My foot began to feel as normal … Before crippling pins and needles left me limping again.

I’ve never been comfotable with it anyway. I’m one of those people who limps away from assembly, pins and needles stabbing my every step!

Unfortunately I had to sit cross legged soon after. We had a drama lesson and Mr. Fairgrass invented this wierd new game near the end to help us concentrate.

We had to pretend we were part of a strange new religion and this little toy chinese good luck cat (whom we named Mew-Chu) was our holiest object (but you could tell that by holiest object he meant ‘God’!)

There were rules like:

  1. During prayer time nobody must laugh, talk, or disrespect the great Mew-Chu in any way.
  2. During prayer time one must be in a position for prayer (which in Mr Fairgrass’ world is sitting cross legged.
  3. Nobody can get too close to the great Mew-Chu and nobody must avert their gaze away from him.
  4. Everybody has to be called brother or sister. I don’t mean in a ‘family’ kind of way, I mean in a nun or monk kind of way.
  5. Mr Fairgrass is the Grandmaster aka high priest, guru, Pope ect. (I kept wanting to yell out to everyone “I have been touched by the great Mew-Chu, he has chosen me to serve him as the new Grandmaster!”)
  6. Any brother or sister caught breaking the rules of the high church of the great Mew-Chu must be brought before the Grandmaster to be told their forfeit. The four whom disgraced themselves in the presence of Mew-Chu were sentenced to three forfiets. The first few were sentenced to walk around the circle clucking like chickens. The third had to crawl around on all fours, the third had to ask Sarah’s hand in marriage. Judging by how everything else had gone if Sarah had excepted she would have had an interesting ceremony. I can imagine her now, kneeling before the Great One, both lovers sleeping at opposite ends of the playing field on beds of pencil shavings. Blind-folded, only able to uncover their eyes and speak again when, in full gaze of Mew-Chu the Grandmaster joined them in holy matrimony!

Did I mention the cat was just a head with arms, legs and ears? With a really cross face?

Just join us, and the Great one will give you eternal blessing.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s