The eagle has landed.

Tommorow me and James will found a school newspaper. Named The Eagle. I will be editor because it was my idea and we’ll sort out positions for the others tommorow.




I had a go at making shortbread. Unfortunately it ended up as shortcrumbs. Could have been because I left out an ingredient because we didn’t have it.

My shortbread was less like this:

shortbread three

And more like this:


Still, it tastes delicious, and nobody else wants to eat it! I have a whole tray of the stuff to myself!

Though I will have to guard it. Grandad actually said to me “Well you’ve learnt from your mistakes, do you want to feed it to the badger?”

(For more information on The Badger look here:


PS Don’t worry I saved the shortbread!

We’re back online!

Well on Friday my computer ran out of power, even though it was plugged in, today the lead arrived so we are back up. It would have arrived earlier, but the post man seemed to think  it would make more sense to knock on the bedroom window of a sleeping child (James) than to, I dunno,  post it through the letterbox?!!

We had a themed Chinese meal as practice for Chinese New Year (nothing to do with the fact that we got the dates wrong!) and the Grandparents moved in while Mum and Dad are away. They’re lots of fun, but they do have some trouble with our way of life, I think it’s because they’re a bit old-fashioned.

Here are a few examples (no offence to the grandparents, but you do all these things):

  • Mum and Dad go to bed around midnight or one o’clock, so at that time they come in and tell me to go to sleep and turn my light off. Unfortunately Nanna and Grandad go to sleep early. Which is why I am writing this in the dark.
  • They keep asking how things work, like, how do you turn the TV on? How do you work the volume control? And how  come this radiator isn’t giving off any heat? (pointing at the dehumidifier.
  • This may be nit-picking, but it annoys me slightly. They keep calling the TV channel we watch Cbeebies! I want to tear my hair out and say “IT IS CBBC! CBEEBIES IS FOR BABIES! I’VE WATCHED ALMOST EVERY SIMPSONS EPISODE, READ ALMOST EVERY BOOK IN THE HITCH HIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY SERIES, AND VIRTUALLY EVERY BOOK WRITTEN BY JEROME K JEROME, I DO NOT WATCH CBEEBIES!!!!!” Childish I know.

Still, I’m sure they’ll adjust, they’ve got a lot of good qualities too. Tommorow I’m going to make shortbread with them. 😀


Oak Plants

Nothing happened today, there was no school because of the fire, so I’ve decided to use this post to complain about Oak Plants.

  1. The Food: It was terrible. Not only were we having to eat couscous, but we had these dragon ladies standing over us watching our every move. I don’t understand why they don’t just serve pizza. They seem to be saying “We can’t feed them unhealthy food, so we’ll just feed them food that automatically makes them try to starve themselves to death!”
  2.  They seem to be very stereotypical about vegetarians. Like when James refused a cheese sandwich (until he found out it had cucumber in it) “You’re a vegetarian, and you don’t like cheese!” or with me “You’re a vegetarian and you don’t like vegetables?” they actually laughed! So aren’t veggie’s allowed to dislike things (especially things as inedible as vegetables!)
  3. The books. So you’re a bookworm, the sort of person who spends their time at Oak Plants buried in a book. Yet these peoople think you’ll be satisfied with the sort of books you find in dentist waiting rooms. And as for the toys, all on high shelves out of reach. In amongst these is a computer that looks like generations of kids have played with it, but, despite being in a playroom, this is strictly forbidden (though nobody mentions this until you touch it!)


Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Pour on water! Pour on water!

Today I was sitting writing in English, as opposed to sitting doing maths in English! Suddenly the power flashed off, I continued writing, it was daytime, I hardly needed the lights, they came back on and went back off, that’s when the fire alarm rang!!!

A few people screamed and we made our way to the playground. At first I thought it was a drill for two reasons:

  1. It was sleeting. How many fires can start on a sleety (sleetty? Sleetingy?) day?
  2. I subconciously didn’t want the school to go up in flames, at least not while my kindle and a pack of books I’d never read before as I got them on Monday.

But I was wrong.

A boy in my class had actually seen it happen, English 1  was on fire and the students had to be evacuated. We quequed outside in alphabetical order, well everyone who didn’t know there was a real fire was in alphabetical order. Those possessing this knowledge wandered around informing others.

Teachers with megaphones yelled incomphrehensible nonsense at us “This is ccck a drill”

(gesturing at year seven “cccck cafeteria!” So I went to the cafeteria, a few hours later my class turned up. I could see my form tutor and head of year looking at me and chuckling.

You can imagine the scene:

People chatting to the right of me,

People chatting to the left of me,

while I sat in the middle trying to remember the lyrics to all the songs in: Joseph King of Dreams.

Even in emergency I am left out. I noticed that a girl on the opposite table had a copy of Double act, a book that, though it is good, I probably wouldn’t read at home. I became desperate to own that book. I wasn’t really bored at first (though I did keep sneaking quick glances at the book) because Mr Basil started talking for an hour and three quatres, eventually though, he ran out of steam. I begged for the book, when my pleas were ignored I begged for a different book. This owner actually gave me their book, but sadly a lot of people were starting to leave, so she had to go, taking the book with her. I was going mad, I had thought I was so safe, leaving my stuff when the alarm when, now if they’d handed me a knife I would have killed myself. I moved towards people I thought were my friends, they grunted to breifly aknowledge my existence and then continued their riveting conversation. I finnally got a book of a girl and settled down to read, until the lady came to collect me for a Oak Plants (Not the real name).

The Oak Plants website shows two seperate rooms of fun and describes a canteen for your child, there is also a telly. We saw no such things.

In real life, me and James used many words to describe it his usually began with b and ended with oring. Whereas mine began with h and ended with ell on earth. The first thing, our choice for tea was either cheese and cucumber sandwiches or couscous, our choice for lunch was the same. Now I always thought couscous looked like this:


But no, they apparently look like this:


And it tastes disgusting, but as they had to make up a special batch for me (after they’d miscounted the number of hot meals supposed to be made. ) I decided to push it round my plate for an hour and a half, just to be polite. Unfortunately they seemed to think they were parents! For instance, James finnishes his meal and goes off to play tether ball, suddenly somebody says “Did you ask to get down?” so he has to go back and ask and then these complete strangers are standing over me telling me to “Have one more mouthfull it’s not that bad!” (Not that bad, I threw up in my mouth and really struggled to keep it down! Sorry if your eating.)

We stayed there for five hours! Five hours! At least Henry liked it and I found a new way to torture James. (Find a twister mat and give them impossible instructions like: put your left foot in the right corner and your right foot in the left corner) We never have to go there again.

School’s off tommorow and on Friday, I just hope my stuff is OK (that is something else that annoyed me a tiny bit, all through the ride to Oak Plants I was worrying about my stuff, but the lady just kept repeating “the most important thing is that everyone is safe.” yeah, but she might say it differently if it was her kindle bursting into flames.) Oak Plants ended up as being OK, the only thing really wrong with it is that it has terrible food and is boring, other than that it’s great!


PS Before you ask, nobody was hurt in the fire.



Looking for Jesus

Today in RE (Religious Education) we saw Jesus, not litterally, but like this:

Just make sure this doesn’t happen to you:


For those who find my handwriting illegible, here’s what’s happening in these scenes:

Scene 1: We see a guy at his computer with the Jesus illusion on the screen, saying “What a cool illusion, I’ll just try it out.”

Scene 2: The guy is looking up saying “What a cool illusion, I can really see Jesus!”

Scene 3: We see Jesus in all his glory, with a halo and clouds and everything (if you bothered to click the link you’ll know this is not what you see.) Jesus says “Come, help mebring world peace!”

Meanwhile off-frame the guy says “It’s amazing!” clearly thinking it’s an illusion.

So recognise the difference between fake and real Jesus, don’t let this happen to you!


PS Sorry if any religious people get offended by this, but I doubt anybody will.

Bye again!

A strange tale of a good deed…

Today as I was running to catch the bus I saw a puse on the ground, closer inspection revealed it to be decorated like an owl and, as I guessed from the rattle it made when shaken, full of money. I stood there wondering what to do with it when a passing boy yelled out to me, “Hey, don’t steal!” thanks. See kids, this is what a life of honesty gets you.

Anyway, I asked a few people  and none of them owned it, but it had the name: Maggie Recham written on the back, I took it to the office and handed it in, when I went back on the bus there were a group of kids talking, to a girl they called: Maggie.

By the way my new books arrived.