Dad’s Birthday today!

Bacon for breakfast and tea at a Chinese!



My First day at King Arthurs!

King Arthur’s school is the high school near me. To help us choose our GCSE projects next year we have to go to King Arthurs for two days this week. Here are the subjects we learned today and yesterday.

Yesterday we learned:

  • Business studies. The teacher got us to design a breakfast product that would help prevent the obesity epidemic. My group design a bar with four sections and four flavours. Melon, Strawberry, Raspberry and Apple. The teacher like it but, despite ending well the lesson started off badly. “Kids are getting fatter” says the teacher. (My name is muttered at the back accompanied by lots of giggles, which is unfair. You try losing weight without the hassle of anorexia, it doesn’t happen quickly!) But I mean, well done Miss! You’ve picked the one topic that could possibly embarrass and/or ostrasize anybody, and turned it into a lesson! Bravo!
  • ICT (Computers) we learned photo shop and I learned that photoshop is designed to torture me. You copy a bit of rock, say, and try and rub out a man’s head with it. his head suddenly appears in another place, leaving a blurry mess!
  • History, where we saw a seriously gross picture of a man with trenchfoot. Yuck!
  • French, where we learned to describe movies. The teacher gave us cute stickers shaped like fish if we answered questions. I got a black spotty disco fish, yeah!
  • Geography. We learned about Dahrvi, the biggest slum in Mumbai, or in fact, India. They talked about how filthy and bad it was (quite different from the project we did in our current school, wich seemed to based on the idea that living in a slum is fun. We also watched a film, though I think the reporter in it was a bit rude. This guy who lives in the slum is guiding him around and he keeps making comments like “It’s unbelievable to think somebody lives there! The homes look like piles of rubbish! Urrgh, that’s someone’s home!” When he could be pointing at his guides house for all he knows!
  • Product Design. We had to design a machine for making sandwiches. Designed one in the shape of an elephant, (the sandwiches came out of the trunk.) There was a bag of sweets awarded to the best one. I got really close. Mine had detailed diagrams of the inside and outside of my machine. We were given ten seconds to sell it to him. Everyone was just saying “You say what you want and it does it.” He was letting people in because their designs were well drawn, then I step up and say:

“You put the raw materials in at the top and then a series of conveyer belts and chutes…” that was as far as I got. he said

“You’re amazing!” and I got through to the second round.

But then he handed it over to a vote. He picked a top three: Me, Laurel and Harry. All the girls except me voted for Laurel. All the boys voted for Harry. I voted for me. I could see them looking at each other and one of them called out

“You can’t vote for yourself!” The boys outnumbered the girls, so Harry got the sweets. I was stunned. I mean, I knew that popularity would affect the votes a bit, and, though it would be great to win, I didn’t really expect it. But still, no votes at all! I really belive that if I added a way to power it and a bit more detail and someone mad my diagrams into a model, it would actually function!

Today I learned:

  • Drama. We had to act out a freeze frame to illustrate a newspaper headline. We were given the headline ‘Schoolboy wins [blank]’ and had to fill in the last word and illustrate it with a freezeframe (when everyone stands still in positions best to illustrate what we’re acting and uses facial expressions and use of space to get our point across.) We did ‘Schoolboy wins Elephant.’ (I got the idea from a Simpsons episode.) I stood on all fours with one arm stuck straight out in front of me to be the trunk, a boy crouched behind me with his arms stuck out as ears, a boy sat on top of him as the boy riding on his elephant, and the other girl in our group mimed holding a rope to restrain the elephant. when, our classmates guessed elephant the teacher said “Let’s think a bit more deeply about this, maybe the boy has won, not an elephant, but a safari holiday to ride on one?” I said no it was an elephant. Then Sarah (the other girl) said

“No, it’s a safari holiday.” and hissed at me “That’s thinking more deeply about it!” Then the teacher said

“We’ve only got time to show one more freeze frame, so hands up who’s got something different. I don’t want another holiday or lottery win!” 😀

  • Art. We were painting vegetables in the style of some artist. We only had bright tellytubby colours and black ink. This may have been great for the artists, one of whom was painting vegetables freshly picked from her garden, but these vegetables looked like they’d been through a washing machine, bumped around and wet through, a few times before being left to naturally dry on a washing line. I picked the saddest carrot. It was a daunting task, but by mixing sunny orange with fern green to give the appearance of browning leaves, and using all the colours at my disposal (sunny orange, strawberry pink, fern green, royal purple) and drawing it as accurately as possible I think I managed to portray the limpness and depressing features of that carrot. If I managed that then I am pleased.
  • German. We did discussions about our last birthdays. The teacher taught us to say the names of loads of presents I didn’t get for my birthday. I didn’t understand most of them. Who really, when asked what they want says “Mum, Dad, I’d like a scarf (einen shaul) for my birthday”?!! I had to ask her to translate projector, DVD and book. I can’t belive she’d miss that stuff out. OK so not many girls get projectors for their birthdays (though it’s so cool, like a cinema on your sofa!) but I’m certain everyone gets DVDs, if not books! Yet instead she had several different types of clothes! Honestly!
  • Food Tech. This woman gave us each a haribo. After asking us for detailed descriptions of a bacon sandwich (hard because I’m a vegetarian, and I’ve never even had a facon  sandwich. Then she made us look at our sweets. Then she made us sniff our sweets. Then (and I promise  you I am not joking) she made us put the sweet to our ear and listen to it ❗ (Sour Haribos when rubbed between the fingers, make a scratchy rustling sound.) I didn’t like them because they had no flavour and were simply sourness shaped like a cherry and coloured green and red.
  • Textiles. (I was late for this. I was in the library at the other side of the school, and was kept behind with some last minute book borrowing. By the time I got to my tutor base, there was nobody there. I asked a teacher, who took me to the reception where my tutor teacher was looking for me. Probably terrified she’d lost a kid!) We had to make bubbles. We got bubble wrap and printed it onto fabric with paint; then we got circle stickers, stuck them on the fabric, painted over them and peeled them off leaving blank patches; then we used blobs of paint to make tiny circles, and then cork ends and glue lids to make hollow and filled in circles.
  • Music. We had to use different African drums, that were actually made in Africa. The boys kept mucking about though. Honestly, it makes you want to move to an all girls school! Some started messing about trying to grab my book. I went to the back of the line (which was round the corner, so I got told of because the teacher said I couldn’t have heard her, even though I was  at the front while she was talking.) They followed me. Harry reached for my book and I slapped his hand away. This only made him do it again, only this time he got his friends to watch. I just stared at him and let all my anger out through my eyes. They all faked defensive moves and one said, in a conversational tone:

“You want to kill Harry, don’t you?”

“How could you tell?” I asked nonchalantly.

Bye 🙂

My book is publishing!!!!

😀 I’m so excited, by 8am tomorrow my book will be published!!! I’ve always planned for this moment, my plans work better in my current school so it’s good that I published before I moved to Yorkshire. Here is what I shall hopefully accomplish by tomorrow:

  1. Bring my kindle to school instead of a book (In all the events I have described here, I have actually been holding a book. And by here I mean this entire blog. It’s good for reading and almost a comfort thing, I feel empty without a book in my hand!)
  2. Mention that I have published my book, a lot.
  3. When all the scoffers come round to scoff and say “Where is it then? You haven’t published a book!” I’ll show them my newly published ebook!

Everyone will congratulate me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s not nearly enough exclamation marks to express my happiness!!! And when I do get to Yorkshire on my first day I can do it  all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My goal of publishing a book is finally achieved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is a simple graph:

Levels of Happiness

Average: 🙂

Evil (and getting what you want): 😈

Incredibly lucky: 😀

Me (after publishing book) :mrgreen:

CSI Woodlouse!

We did an experiment using woodlice, we made a wet habitat and a dry habitat and a wet,dark habitat and a dry, dark habitat and saw which one the woodlice scurried to after three minutes, the teacher said that if they died or we were cruel to them she’d call our parents, which got me wondering. What if they died of old age (they only live five minutes!) or killed each other (they kept fighting!) how would we prove we didn’t crush them for fun?



Sargent: We have a suspected case of murder. Two woodlice! (Points to crushed bodies) Suspects: Two kids. Cause of death: Crushing!

Officer: Some people make me sick! :-p


Policeman: Did you kill the woodlice? (shouts) DID YOU?!!

Girl: (stuttering) n-n-no! They d-died of old age.

Policeman: Are you protecting someone? Do you by any chance know the real killers of woodlice two and one? You boy, who killed them?

Boy: No-one.


Doctor: We will now begin the autopsy. (studies body) there are feeler-prints on the shell of one of the victims.

(Chief hurries over to do the fingerprints.)

Doctor: (dissecting the corpse) Oh god! This could blow our whole case wide open!


Chief: I have gathered all the suspects and everyone the force to reveal, the culprit is:

Woodlouse number three!

(Woodlouse number three tries to run off, but is caught and handcuffed)

Woodlouse number three: (Manically shouting) HOW DID YOU KNOW!??

Chief: Easy, you thought you could get away with it, but you left one vital clue.

A leg was found in the shell of the victims, it must have stuck there while he was being crushed, and as you can see Woodlouse number three only has: FIVE LEGS!

(Camera zooms in on woodlouse number three’s space where a leg should be)

Chief: Take him away

(Woodlouse number three is taken away!)


PS No woodlice were harmed in the experiment our teacher assured us that outside the lab the woodlice are kept in a tank full of bark and grass and mud and whatever else woodlice eat.

Bye again!

Fourth and Fifth day of WOW week

  • Chepstow trip. The journey there was something I really remember! There were multi-coloured traffic cones! I was looking out the window at all the traffic cones (there were a lot of road-works) they were all orange, but then, out of nowhere, came a line of blue traffic cones! And yellow traffic cones! On the way back, I was sitting back thinking about how nothing on the traffic cone front could surprise me now … When suddenly out of the blue, came a green traffic cone!!!!
  • We wandered around the castle talking to historical re-enactors from the university. The student with us kept talking about starting a revolt, but we never did.
  • The play. We performed it twice, once to year sixes/sevens, once for our parents. We were supposed to perform for years ones/twos, but the school messed up and got the wrong group. Dad was supposed to go to the second performance, but the school messed up and said the play was at 3:30, which happens to be home time!
  • The play went great!