We did an experiment using woodlice, we made a wet habitat and a dry habitat and a wet,dark habitat and a dry, dark habitat and saw which one the woodlice scurried to after three minutes, the teacher said that if they died or we were cruel to them she’d call our parents, which got me wondering. What if they died of old age (they only live five minutes!) or killed each other (they kept fighting!) how would we prove we didn’t crush them for fun?
Sargent: We have a suspected case of murder. Two woodlice! (Points to crushed bodies) Suspects: Two kids. Cause of death: Crushing!
Officer: Some people make me sick! :-p
Policeman: Did you kill the woodlice? (shouts) DID YOU?!!
Girl: (stuttering) n-n-no! They d-died of old age.
Policeman: Are you protecting someone? Do you by any chance know the real killers of woodlice two and one? You boy, who killed them?
Doctor: We will now begin the autopsy. (studies body) there are feeler-prints on the shell of one of the victims.
(Chief hurries over to do the fingerprints.)
Doctor: (dissecting the corpse) Oh god! This could blow our whole case wide open!
Chief: I have gathered all the suspects and everyone the force to reveal, the culprit is:
Woodlouse number three!
(Woodlouse number three tries to run off, but is caught and handcuffed)
Woodlouse number three: (Manically shouting) HOW DID YOU KNOW!??
Chief: Easy, you thought you could get away with it, but you left one vital clue.
A leg was found in the shell of the victims, it must have stuck there while he was being crushed, and as you can see Woodlouse number three only has: FIVE LEGS!
(Camera zooms in on woodlouse number three’s space where a leg should be)
Chief: Take him away
(Woodlouse number three is taken away!)
PS No woodlice were harmed in the experiment our teacher assured us that outside the lab the woodlice are kept in a tank full of bark and grass and mud and whatever else woodlice eat.