Curse Mr Greener!

Today, during the time when it was pouring with rain, we had PE.

Normally we would do it in the hall, but there’s a concert on so the hall was full of musicians. So the teachers decided that we should find an empty classroom and do a fun quiz. Mr Greener disagreed.

He thought we should have an inter-house race of two laps of our school field (three laps is two miles). I came 60th.

I had an idea half way through. I can run as fast as I can so I’ll either win the race or get Mr Greener into trouble because a student would have collapsed on an activity he organised.

Unfortunately I just ended up feeling sick 😦



Bonjour enfants!

Today I was part of the French Café project. Basically a group of Year of Sevens go to a first school and some kids serve the kids food and others hold a quiz and the better mor intelligent and fabulous ones are teachers. (Guess which I was!!! 🙂 )

I swear that they deliberately put the classes in order of nice, a bit on the bad side of right, and EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The first class we went in and the kids were giggling, so I said “Welcome to our French Lesson, I’m ********** [I cannot reveal my identity] this is Laurel and this Rachel. Now no giggling, this lesson is deathly serious … Now let’s meet some toy animals!!!”

Laurel brought out an otter

“That doesn’t look mean!” cried a kid in the audience. We explained to the kid that they weren’t supposed to be mean.

Laurel pulls out an octopus

“That doesn’t look dangerous!” cried the same kid. We explained to him that it wasn’t supposed to be dangerous or mean. That we had never implied in any way that these animals were anything less that good honest upright citizens and we had no idea where he got the impression that they were anything less.

“But you said they were deadly serious!” It took a while to explain to him that it was just a joke.

We did some repetition.

Like with hippopotame (the French for hippopotamus)  I’d hold out the cuddly toy version and say


The kids would then begin by saying


But gradually get louder as they were told to repeat.

Next Laurel and Rachel did their song. Unfortunately they fell apart when they heard I wasn’t to sing with them.

Lesson one: They sang it quietly.

Lesson two: They begged to not have to do it.

Lesson three: They didn’t do it.

Then we did animal charades.

The thing with French is that when you get down to it, you are repeating words that sound funny to you, but mean things across the channel. All with the knowledge that across the channel people will tell you everybody speaks English.

They tell you that the French start learning English at the age of four and are brilliant at it, and so clearly have just invented these funny, difficult to pronounce words and speak them to each other specifically to spite us. This is False.

I once had a conversation with some French teenagers, late teens, and all they could say was “You are English?” That was it. And when I tried to speak French they asked me again, obviously thinking we couldn’t possibly be that good.

Anyway, so French on it’s own is a bit boring. That is why it is important to incorporate songs and games. This game was called:

‘Animal Charades’! This game is very simple.

One person acts like an animal (though in the second and third classes we took great pains to stress it had to be either a crocodile, a unicorn, a hippo, an otter, a bear or an octopus. In other words one of the animals on the table. We did this because in the first class a child had come up without hesitation, though for a while and then began to act like a monkey.)

The next classes went through the same thing except for two differences.

  1. We introduced a new game. Rachel and Laurel’s idea. I hold up an animal and they say it’s name in English, then they throw a tennis ball and the kid who catches it has to say the name in French. (Why would they do such a thing you ask? For points! All games were played Boys vs. Girls, though admittedly this games’ scoring system was a tad more erratic.) But then they reversed it so the kid had to say the word in English. This was bad because it went from ‘translate the French word to English’ to ‘say the name of the animal the girl is holding.’
  2. I got bored with the above game and suggested a vote, more this game or another round of animal charades. Both times it was met with a groan of ‘Animal Charades’ (everything said by a group in a classroom comes out as either a groan eg. Good-mor-ning-mi-siss-stereotypical teacher, or a roar eg.


The length of the words often depends whether the answer is a roar or a groan, but also who is speaking bears a minor importance. A funny man in a comic pantomime will get a roar, but a teacher, who might be irritated with a roar, will get a groan.)

There was a loudmouthed kid in each class, there are distinct classes of loudmouthed kid (no pun intended) Here they are listed with ways to deal with them:

The Excited one: This is one we had in our first class. The ‘deadly serious’ kid. This kid is just so excited about his question or comment, and so worried that you will overlook him, that he tends to blurt it out. Other less serious cases (we found such cases in all our classes) involve the child desperate to volunteer that they either stand up, flap their arm around, or giggle/squeak. Being one of these myself (while I understand it can be irritating) I feel obliged to put in an excuse so as to not seem hypocritical. I do this because I have been left standing and I have been over-looked (usually when I’m asking difficult questions!) To deal with the minor cases I used the phrase “I won’t pick anyone who is laughing like a maniac, or squeaking like a mouse.) With the severe cases just wait, they’ll grow out of it (as I did) but trust me, a kid this animated, you should keep on the right side of him so he’ll give you a good review in his autobiography.

The Obnoxious one: This kid has criticism and don’t care who knows it. Not constructive criticism either, one question I was asked  when picking who should guess what animal a kid was acting like was “Why do you get to choose?” I explain to the kid that we were teaching the class he replied with “You’re not a teacher, you’re just a kid!” To deal with him I suggest: Discipline! Seriously these teachers can keep kids in, phone parents, write a note in your file (it may seem your getting off lightly, but teachers honestly believe that if they write in our files ‘Fred got caught talking in class’ or ‘Molly punched Bill in the arm’ in twenty years they’ll be walking by with their grandchildren when they’ll see someone with a pathetic job (like dog poo picker-upper, or chewing-gum salvager, or even a teacher.) And they’ll look up and say “Wait a minute, Douglass Grimwater! What are you doing picking up dog poo? You had a bright carreeer as a buissness man ahead of you! Did you fail all your tests?”

“No sir straight A’s”

“Start drinking?”

“Nope, don’t touch the stuff.”

“Take to a life of crime?”


“Then why aren’t you successful?”

“Nobody will hire me sir. In year three I was caught daydreaming during a spelling test.”)

Anyway, we have, get this, as a discipline tool ….. drumroll…..


Not a sausage.

But wait I hear you say! What about the teachers in the room?

Utterly useless.

What kind of kid is honestly going to respond to say these stern scoldings.

“*********** [cannot reveal my name] ignore him, pay no attention”

“You’ll have to go outside if you can’t behave” (followed swiftly by humming and pretending-it’s-not-happening when he calls out again.)

The sniggerer: This was in the third class. There were a few of these, but the worst was Laurel’s brother. These kids giggle a lot like the Excited one, but they are giggling at you. They are sniggering.

The parallel to this is going to your work/school, when you see some people talking and laughing. You go over to see if you can share the joke and everyone stops laughing and looks shifty. When you  walk off they point and start laughing again.

These kids see no reason why they should respect you. They are above recognising you as someone who maybe they should listen to. Or at least not distract other people from listening to.

Still it was fun!


PS It took me three days to write this, Enjoy!

I’ve gotta find a theme!

I’ll confess something. My blog was never meant to help express my feelings or entertain others. It was to get me  famous and out-blog Neverseconds (sorry) mainly because I started a blog when I was younger and quit.

However I’ve been doing this for over a year and no mentions on the news. Whereas my Mum claims that what people crave is an insight into peoples lives, but those lives have to be eventful, my life has been consistently flat recently.

I think I need a theme. But until then here’s a comic.

I think I'll start doing more of these! Sorry about the crude drawing! I'm not brilliant at drawing on my computer!

I think I’ll start doing more of these! Sorry about the crude drawing! I’m not brilliant at drawing on my computer!

Bye! 😀

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear blog! Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to you,

you live in a zoo,

You look like a monkey,

and you smell like one too!


Today is my blog’s birthday! That’s right it’s exactly one year since I wrote my first post: The SAT’s are coming!

I’m going to be sharing some of my favourite blog posts with you. First up, the first up! 😆

The SAT’s are coming!

The SAT’s are coming, and I’m not that worried. My Mum says that the SAT’s don’t matter and that the school will get punished, and Mrs Charcoal, my teacher, says (that she never got her son’s results. I am worried about one thing, THE RULES!!!  (Insert lighting cracking, Thunder rolling and the theme tune to a Simpsons Tree House of Horror!) They actually allow you to take mascots into the SAT’s, I might bring in a mascot, though I don’t actually have one. I’m thinking of starting a mascot shop, selling different Mascots that do different things: This one keeps you confident, this one helps you work, ect. ect. But it might be against the rules. Speaking of Rules, here they are. We did some pretend SAT’s tests under SAT’s conditions today and they told us what they were. Here they are…

  1. No looking around. If you sit there looking around, your name is written down and you could be removed from the hall! This is because you might be cheating. (Cheating? How could they think that?!!!)
  2. If you drop somthing you have to put your hand up and wait for a teacher to pick up whatever you dropped. (See cheating part of 1.)
  3. No rubbers, you don’t have time to rub things out.
  4. No talking, flicking rubbers at people or any other form of distraction.
  5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. and anything else up to 1 million!

The SAT’s are a big part of any kid’s life, luckily I was full to the brim with handy hints!

Handy Hints!

Hey kids! The SAT’s are actually testing your school! So here are some Top Tips on how to terrify your teachers during the SAT’s (not to mention distract your friends):

  1. At the end of the test – when your teachers are telling you to put your pens down and stop writing, put your hand up and say: “Miss, how do you spell, Introduction?
  2. Smuggle in one of those tiny packs of  ketchup you get at resteraunts, and when you’ve finished writing the test squirt it over your face. Tell your teacher and she will have to escourt you to the medical room. Pretend to go in and say that your alright. Then ask if you can have a pack of tissues to blow your nose. When you get back, sit there in the hall, blowwing your nose extremely loudly and distracting everyone else!
  3. Pretend to slip in your chair and scatter all your things in different directions, most of them under your table. Your teacher will have to come and pick them up! (See my post: The SAT’s are coming!) Meanwhile you can watch her scrabbling about under your desk and around the other desks.
  4. During the maths test claim to have lost: Your pencil, your ruler and any other mathimatical equipment. Once your teacher has lent you all these things pull them out from where you’ve been hiding them in your lap and say: “Oh, look! I’ve found them!”
  5. Take in a calculator and tell your teacher that it’s a mascot.
  6. Take in a normal mascot, but smuggle in a different mascot that squeaks. While you write squeak the toy and distract everyone. When your teacher goes round inspecting all the mascots she will only find the non-squeaky mascot.

More Tips and Tricks may or may not apear later on. SAFETY WARNING!!!!!!!!! Trying any of these tricks during the SAT’s will result in detention and possible suspension with some of them. You have been warned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None did show up later, but I didn’t care, I was having so much fun, as a few weeks later the nation celebrated the Queen’s jubilee!

The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee!

Hi eveybody! Hello! Today was the last day of school before half term, but it was also my school’s jubilee party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First we had an assembly, they played ‘Sing’ the song that will be played to the Queen during her jubilee, it’s sung by children from poor vililages in Africa, to raise money for their country. First we made bunting, unfortunately mine didn’t get hung up because it was a complicated pattern of union jacks and triangles which took ages to colour. Next we made tabled cloths, me, Lily,Juliet , Laurel and Poppy were going to work together, until Lily and Poppy decided that it would be better if they worked with Laurel as a  three leaving me and Juliet to work in a two, though we weren’t supposed to! Lily said “I just don’t think that there would be enough room for five, ” (though we were also allowed to work in sixes!) I suddenly thought, hey this feels familiar, it was the tent situation all over again! Mrs Charcoal eventually persuaded Lily to work in a five, but she sulked for a bit. Nobody wanted to tryy out my brilliant ideas (e.g doing a tissue paper portrait of the queen or giving our paper table cloth a wiggly edge,) so, as Juliet described one part as being ‘my bit’ I began to draw her royal highness on that spot, unfortunately the others didn’t agree with my creative spirit and insisted that I rub it out, but I got my own back! I created The Wall Of Money, a snmall picture of every coin or note with the Queen’s face on, altogether I drew about twelve pictures of the Queen onto my bit, Me: 1 Others: 0 Yeah! Afterwards it was lunch time, we carefully carried our master-peice onto the feild and began to eat. There was pizza, sandwiches, fruit and crisps! Sadly there were also cakes (the teachers said that we had to have a sandwich before we had a cake so the ones I actually liked were soon gone,) sausages and sausage rolls. I often have sausage rolls at home, but they are vegetarian, I just managed to stop myself picking up this meat one. For me eating meat is worse than just stopping being vegitarian, everyone in my family is vegetarian, (except the cats and the fish) so I have never eaten meat. Eating a sausage could make me very ill! After lunch you could go and have one more bit of leftovers. When I first tried to take some a teacher yelled, “Hey you kids, get away that’s staff food!” but the next minute they’re handing it out! In the afternoon we played fun games! During the tug of war everybody kept saying that I was doing it wrong. The people watching said that I shouldn’t wrap the rope around my waist (though the teachers seemed okay with it) and the people on my team said I should swap places with the girl in front. But I refused both. At first I felt myself being pulled foward and thought that it was a mistake me going at the back and I should have switched with the other girl and that my team would lose and it would be all my fault! But then I began to walk backwards, it was easy at first but got harder, until my team won! Me and Laurel tried to go onto the hook a drink game where you have a fishing rod with a little ring on the end and you have to hook it over the top of a drink, Fishing For Drinks Brilliant! You also got to keep any drinks you hooked, I didn’t like any of the ones on offer, but though I could sell it. But we had to go, before we even got a chance, we were just about to have our turn when thay started packing up! I won the bowling! When I got there the top score was five, by I got six! At the prize giving everyone tried to tell me I only got five, but then they called my name out, I had won!!!!! I got a medal and ten sweets! Unfortunately I tied with another girl and had to give her five, she got the ones I didn’t like. I got: Harribo’s, Harribo strawberrys, magic stars, maltesers and a mars bar, as well as the plaque that everyone got. They had the school brass band follow the people giving ot the plaques, two of the players were in my class! Well, that was my Jubilee, Bye! .P.S. How did your Jubilee go? The day before I had my first great scientific achievement, though my sports wasn’t doing as well!

You are reading the blog of a 6c scientist!

Today Mrs Charcoal told me that I got a six C in science! She said that she had never had an AFL like mine before! Mum says that it’s esspecially good because science is less subjective than writing, there is generally only one right answer. Unless you try and create your own theories, then anything’s possible! Now I have a story to tell you: The year is 1899, the Victorian age. The British Empire rules the earth, and a group of children are preparing for PE. Unfortunately, five of them were in trouble. The children waited for the teacher to notice, in the past children had just been told off and allowed to do sports. This time though, this time, the teacher said that they must spend the lesson inside the hall writing out : I must always bring my kit to PE. They were told to sit apart from each other and began to work. Two of them spent their time cursing their bad memories, two of them were called out after a while and told to join the lesson, and one of them tried to see how much she could write in one hour. She was luckiest, she actually began to wonder if she’d dodged a bullet when she was told that the other children had been playing rounders, and began to consider deliberatley forgetting her kit on the day of the bleep test. A test of sheer stamina, an ancient relic, brought over tii Britain by the Romans, who got it from the ancient Spartans. This story could have taken place at any time during Victoria’s reighn, but in fact, it happened on 29th May 2012. Nothing seems to have changed there then. See Ya! I was good at some sports. Mainly gorilla boxing with my arch nemesis Somerset (see if you can spot where I slip up and reveal someone’s actual name!) :

Au Revoir!

Au revoir! Tommorow I’m off to France! More about that later, first my day! Mum got the job as Staff Tutor, thanks to me and Dad pretending to interview her, and I deafeted Somerset! We had Golden Time today, which basically means that if the class is good we get to watch a movie or play outside for a while, but todays Golden time was not fun and games! I was mucking about with the spinny thing (you stand on it and spin it round with your feet whilst trying to keep your balnce) Poppy joined me, and I explained to her why the spinny thing was difficult to turn, (the axle, I think that’s what it’s called, was at  the top, rather than in the middle) this meant that you had to haul it upward and let go, resulting in it spinning round for ages. So Rose was lifting it and, for some reason we decided to hold it like that, then Somerset sat on it. Come on, I’m only human! I bet that 90% of the population would have done the same thing, especially if they didn’t like Somerset. “Let Go!” I cried, Poppy let go and the log span round, at first it looked like a waste of time, Somerset soon regained her balance, and I looked on dissapointedly for a few seconds, before it span right round one more time and she fell over backwards!!! Unfortunately Somerset couldn’t take a joke “That’s it.” she said and walked menacingl towards me (completely ignoring Poppy, which is unfair, after all, I just said it, she didn’t have to do it!) That was how te arguement started. It resulted in Somerset and a few boys playing a game of catch or somthing with my book. In the end Somerset hid in the loo, I got my book back, but the boys heard me talking about Somersets fear, (hey, she’s twice my size! Scaring her is quite an achievement!) They snatched my book again and restarted this bizzare game of piggy in the middle. Soon one of the boys hid where I could never get him, the boys loos. Seeing chances of getting the book back dissapear,I angrily advanced on a cornered Somerset. Who COWERED into the corner, so in the end I decided it wasn’t worth it. Every one loved my cake! Now I must warn you, I don’t think the place we’re staying has Wi-Fi. But I’m going to write my posts on Microsoft Office Word, then with a simply copy and a paste, all will be done! Until then Bye!

 I wasn’t scared of Somerset, but Henry would have been, he was scared of a lot of things:

Woof, Woof!

Today wasn’t too exciting, we woke up early to go to see a massive projector. First we dropped Mum off, as she had a tutorial and then we brought some sweets and each had a sandwich for breakfast. We also went to Oxfam and brought a few books for next weeks holiday. Finally we set off. The cave was brilliant, despite the strangeness of going down loads of stairs before coming up in a small cave with a great view of the matchbox cars and ant people. The projector was also amazing, I had expected it to just be a photo, but it moved and everything, you could see birds flying right across the screen! You could see cars too, and people. And dogs. Henry is terrified of dogs. He even squealed when he saw the one on the projector, when we pointed out that it was a long way below us he just said “What if it’s a high jumping dog!” The whole place was full of dogs. Later we went to have a picnic lunch in the park, they had this weird ropey place equiptment. The only problem was the hieght. When desighning your up high play area consisting of a few hanging baskets conected by rope ladders, you should always consider two things:

  1. Accsess, how easy is it for kids to actually get up there?
  2.  User friendliness, are you rope ladders easy to use?

Unfortunately, while I can accept that since everything was made of rope, perhaps it would be impossible to get up there without some difficulty, the only reason I found it annoyiong was that I discovered that the only way to easily get down was from one of the highest baskets, I do find that it spoiled my expierience a little when I discovered that if you are even slightly afraid of hieghts (like me!) you still have difficulty. The way to cross from one basket to another seems to be this:

  1. Stand up in the basket your in.
  2. Put one stup on the bottom rung of the rope ladder (this only works for going up, I never tried going down.)
  3. Grab hold of the rope holding up the other basket
  4. Step onto the next rung, and the next until you get there.

The problem is that if at this point you are suffering from acrophobia (fear of hieghts) then it is terrifying. Still, the brothers seemed to enjoy it. Bye, Bye!

Another time…


Today OFSTED visited our school. They came in for science, we were having a competition to see which table could filter the cleanest water, and we did poetry.

I am usually very good at poems, but this was very difficult because Mrs Charcoal said that we couldn’t make it rhyme!

Now I have written some very good non-rhyming poetry, such as One Future, which was basically just like the label on a box, I can’t really remember, but it went something like this:

Special delivery, one future.

Keep away from poachers, pollution and people,

no refunds available, our futures are non-exchangeable,

made on earth.

That was it. Give or take a word or two, but it’s hard to evaluate poetry, especially when it’s not simply the case of finding the right rhyme. We were basically just writing loads of similes and metaphors about what we could see, hear, feel, smell and taste while at Horse-Shoe Woods.

Which meant I had hardly any experience as I normally don’t even read that kind of poem, I prefer funnier stuff.

Amazingly though, I triumphed up against all these obstacles and so far it’s going pretty great!

Speaking of obstacles…

Today, whilst I was sitting next to Lily, reading The Kin by Peter Dickinson, Lily said to me “You just missed your stop!” That’s right I missed it. I ended up getting off with Lily and phoning Dad from her house, but it wasn’t my fault, here’s  few reasons why:

  1. Lily should of  reminded me
  2. Lily wasn’t absorbed in a book, yet she claimed to have never realised that the bus had stopped until it was too late.
  3. Dad said that the bus didn’t stop for that long, which is probably why me and Lily didn’t notice when it stopped.
  4. I’ve been going on the bus for two years and I’ve only missed it once and I’ve only missed it once and I’ve only missed my stop once. (OK maybe this isn’t proof that it wasn’t my fault, but hey, it works! I bet your already blaming someone else!)

Any way, that about sums up the high-lights of my day, accept all the crisps I never ate at camp have vanished! When I asked Dad he said that he didn’t know because he’s been away all week, and that because I have crisps at break I can’t also have a packet in the evening. But what’s the difference between this and having crisps from ACSB (Auntie Carries Sweetie Bag, every time we see Auntie Carrie she gives us a bag full of sweets, chocolate and crisps.)

Strangely my rice-cakes have remained, because they are healthy? I will report more  on the mystery as and if it unfolds

James was eager to follow in my footsteps

Clever James!

James missed the bus, and some how it’s my fault! I was apparently supposed to look after him, carry him onto the bus and strap him in! I mean, James has  a whole flock of friends who decided to wait until we reached my stop before telling me that James had missed the bus!!! I mean, honestly! They could have told me before, though I’m not sure what I could have done, the bus driver says that he’s not going to stop for people any more!


PS Sorry this post’s so short, I just started watching a new series called Wolfblood. It’s been on I player for ages, but I only just started watching it because I normally don’t like spooky stuff. But I saw a bit on telly and decided to watch it more. IT’S GREAT!

PPS My tutor was wrong, the results of the election will be given on Wednesday.

Bye again!

Not all my posts were serious!

Funimals we saw at the zoo.

Today we went to the zoo.

We had chips in the car for lunch and saw loads of animals!

From Armadillo, to Legadillo, plus some dinosaurs from A-Rex, to T-Rex, to Z-Rex. We saw flamingstops and flamingos, we saw penguins and pengloses, crickets and tennises.

We saw monkeys, that opened monklocks, lemurs with their lemfurs, tortoises bieng played with in torgameses and lions opposite truthons.

We failed to spot the aye-ayes, aye-noses, aye-mouths all atached to aye-faces, on aye-heads, on aye-bodies, of aye-people, all listening to their I-pods.We could hear the buzzing of flies, walks and swims, sadly there were no tigrrs or tigpurrs, no dolphins or dolflippers, no whales or laughs. There were even more dino’s, like triceratops, tricerasides and tricerabottoms and ‘allosauruses and goodbyesauruses. The dark house had sandcats, and sand mice living in sand castles, naked mole rats and fully clothed mole rats.

All in all a verry interesting day.


(If you think up any funimals of your own please comment with them.)


Hi sorry about last night.

Sorry about yesterday, we went to the park and had chips. Today we stayed in and played the greatest prank ever pulled!!!

It all started when James stuck a note on Henry’s back saying:

Kick my bum

I decided to make a sign of my own. But I didn’t stick it to Henry, I went one step further.

I made a small sign with a picture of a target on it and wrote:

Try and kick the target.

Then I stuck it on his bum. It’s still there, neither Mum, nor Dad have noticed!

Me and the boys started making a part animation, part real-people film about a little boy who had an adventure in the land of Dreamworld with some toy animal friends!

Henry made such a fuss about it! First he insisted that he should play the little boy, me and James tried and tried to explain that he had lost the audition, but in the end he got what he wanted. Now your thinking, he must have been satisfied then. But no. This time his demand was truly ridiculous!

Here it is:

In the cute play about the little boy flying through Dreamworld with his cuddly toy friends, defeating the evil witch to music from a ’Appledy Dappledy’s Nursery Rhymes’ CD he wanted to play a drunken maniac!

He ended up bursting into tears over the whole drunken maniac thing! We eventually just told him that the Dad in the play was a drunken maniac secretly. But then he messed around during a rehearsal. So as I was telling him that he’d have to be sensible about this or he’d be fired, James chipped in and said “You’re fired!”

So he was in tears again! He’s such a diva! We ended up shooting the scene in secret while he was in the shower!

We’re going to finish it at the next convenient time.




Eventually all my hard work came to fruitition a proper film was made:

Say hello to the new Steven Spielberg!

Hi, today made a movie! It took all morning to set every thing up! Then we went to Cheddar Gorge, and hid in the rabbit holes, we usually hide at the back of the rabbit hole field, behind the trees, but today we hid in the holes. My dad started looking for us, but he took ages! I kept wondering whether or not everyone had just left, leaving me here. Soon these people came with their dogs, my little brother Henry started acting up, because of his dog phobia so when the dogs ran right past me I was expecting pit-bulls, not sheep dogs! My mum and dad were getting worried, despite the woman’s helpful words: “My dogs track!” When my dad said that he gave up I just jumped out of my hole, practically right next to him! James had made himself a disguise of grass. Then we went home and had pizza! We started to make the movie, here’s the basic plot:

James is playing around and then goes off for a snack. His cupboard comes to life and eats his toys, James comes back with an orange, but leaves to try and find his toys. The cupboard comes back to life and sicks them, and a whole assortment of other things, up. James comes back and starts to draw, meanwhile, behind him, the cupboard devours the orange and burps. James looks round and shows the picture, it looks like the cupboard, James goes off screen laughing at the prospect of a live cupboard. The cupboard winks and says The End.

Brilliant! Hollywood here I come!

Farewell and adieu!

Farewell and adieu all you fair my blog followers,

    Farewell and adieu all you followers of my blog”

Well, tommorow we’re setting sail! Dad’s going to wake me up early, so that I can pack a few last minute  things (last time we almost forgot peinguin, the cuddly toy that also makes a great pillow!) And I’m going to wake James up because last time we forgot puppy (the cuddly toy that has to be kept in a sock sleeping bag!)

Plus, I wouldn’t mind having time to make some toast and record a few things.

We’re going on the ferry, Mum prefers the train because she gets sea-sick, but she says that she’s OK as long as she stays on  deck. Which reminds me, I got some books from the library (they asked if I wanted to take part in the story lab thing, but the problem is, I read over six books in a week, so it’s a little beneath me! I think it’s meant for kids who hardly ever read.) In one of them it mentioned that you feel less sea-sick below deck, I just Googled it and I don’t think it’s true, but I did find several tips for avoiding sea-sickness, the three at the top of the page on Google are: (if you just type in  ’Does stop you from feeling sea sick’ a typing mistake I made) about-getting-sea-sick-on-a-cruise, (the one I actually looked at and recomend), and Just in case you’re, like us, going on holiday by ferry.  The best thing about going on a ferry for me is the chips. When you’re travelling in the car you’re meals are wierd, a few slices of pizza for breakfast, a bag of crisps and some sandwiches for lunch, and a boiled egg as a snack before tea. Whereas, on the ferry, you get at lest one meal that isn’t made up of several snacks!

Well, I think I’ll sign off now, just enough time to give you those words of wisdom I promised:

“Never eat yellow snow, eating greens will make you grow up big and strong, patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace, Grace is a little girl who wouldn’t wash her face!”


Hello, Year Seven.

Right, tommorow I’ll move up to year seven, great.

Here are two lists:

Things to not look foward to:

  1. Not having many friends, I fell out with a lot of my friends last year, and I’m going to be in hundreds of different classes, so if I end up in a class where I don’t know anyone and we do partner work I’ll end up bieng with either who ever’s left, or in three. Luckily this isn’t much of a change.
  2. Maths and PE. My two least favourite lessons.#
  3. Bieng in hundreds of different classes, (How will I remember to carry my stuff every where, or find my way around?)
  4. Bieng embarrasingly rubbish at such things as times tables and tying a tie.
  5. Possible residentials (My last residential wasn’t that good, we were told that we could have midnight feasts, but on the first night they kept coming to check up on us, and on the last night, the where every one , or at least all the girls, were planning. Me and my roomate had bought extra sweets in the shop and were planing to have the feast to end all feasts, On that night the teacher stood up and said that midnight feasts were forrbidden because we all needed our sleep!!!) Luckily I don’t think we have a residential in year seven
  6. Bieng in the same school as James.

Things to look forward to:

  1. PLTS week ( pronounced pelts) it’s a week where we all do projects based on Somerset, I think Year 7 run stalls or cook stuff to sell.
  2. The Cafe project. Every year the Year fours of my first school, do this project where they create a cafe in the hall with a french name and they all have to order in french. They also bring in some Year Sevens to act as waiters, the idea is that some of those year sevens might be buddies with the year fours they serve.
  3. English and History, my two favourite subjects.
  4. The school council. I love polotics and always try and run, my aim is to be head of year and bring justice to the council.
  5. Continuing my debating society, and possibly getting some more girls in it (it’s a well known fact that boys don’t mature as quickly as girls, I can buy cheese that is more mature that the boys in my dbating group, I’m not sure how they got in, it’s suppossed to be for kids who are interested in talking about the world around them!)
  6. World Links club, it’s like a charity club.
  7. My birthday, Okay so it’s not a school celebration (though I wish it was) but it is in September.
  8. Getting to sit further back on the bus, finally I can continue my freedom fighting from the inside!
  9. The move. I’m not sure about the actual move, but in two months the estate agents come to take photos! Mum says we can help decorate our rooms. We’re supposed to make it look like we’re amazing, super, dream kids. I thought that I could be the cultured one, James could be the sporty one, and Henry could be the cute, but very advanced for his age one.

So there’s a lot to look forward too!


This is from when I moved up to year 7 in September, but here’s some summer fun:

Hi there!

Today my reading group were assighned a special project, desighn a leaflet for next years year 5s! Me and Jessy are in charge of drawing a map of the school with pictures showing where the staff are based, and writing an explanation of the buddies system. I might actually be getting a level six in science! As whenever we are given an AFL (assessment for learning? Or angry fish’s lunch?) they only say what you need to do to get a level 3, 4 or 5. However, we’ve been doing force diagrams recently, so our assessment was on them. One of the keywords was weight, but Mrs Charcoal said that if you managed to use the word weight you’d probably get a level six as you’d need to explain how the car (it’ll make sense when you read what we had to do.) gained weight as it accelerated. I asked if we could try using it and see if we get a level six.

Our task was to stick four pictures of cars into our books, and turn them into force diagrams and write a brief description of what they were doing when the stood still, accelerated, went at a steady speed and slowed down. On the acceleration explanation (hey that rhymes!) I wrote that the car gained weight as it accelerated, but on writing about deceleration I realised that if I just wrote what Mrs Charcoal had said it would look like I was just parroting her, and had no understanding of what happened as the car speeded up. So I hastly wrote down: As it loses energy, and therefore weight…. Mrs Charcoal was very impressed and said she would show it to Mr Brown, the head of science.

As part of our work on the book Storm Breaker by Anthony Horrowitz we had to write a comic strip of one frame or more about what happened to Alex in the breakers yard. So as not to reveal too much of the plot to anyone who might like to read the book, all I can say is that my question at the end of chapter two was: how is Jack (who is obviosly involved in spy stuff, I mean Jack Starbright FAKE NAME ALERT! FAKE NAME ALERT!) going to react when he comes home very late after school with loads of cuts and bruises and his uniform in shreds? What excuse can he have?

“Hi Jack. I tripped over in the playground?”

When I got home Mum said that as it was so hot that we were melting, we could go out into the garden, wearing our sun-suits, and build a water slide. It’s actually very easy to do, I have no idea why swimming pool owners insist on getting very expensive ones with load of motors and stuff!

Here’s how to build your own water slide:

You will need:

Your own climbing frame in the back garden, or at the very least a slide.

A hose.

Something slippery to land on, that isn’t rough like grass. We used some blue sheets of plastic, but paddling pools work too. Or anything else you can think of.


  1.  Place your sheets of plastic/paddling pool/ect at the bottom of your slide.
  2. Hook your hose up against the handles of your slide, if you can’t do this then get a freind/parent/sibling/slave to hold it , just as long as the water is spraying onto the slide.
  3. Slide down!

After this we had a competition to see who could slide furthest (James won.) and a competition to see who could do the best tricks with the hose. James was the judge and the idea was that he could play the winner whilst the loser judged. (Complicated isn’t it?) Unfortunately whilst doing a trick with theme ‘funny’ Henry sprayed James’s cat, causing him to score two. Henry then got really upset and refused to judge. He wouldn’t have won anything as he was basically copying my trick!

James then decided to have a go, but forgot he was doing it and walked around having an arguement with Mum and Henry looking ridiculous! Mum suggested that Henry chase us with the hose, but that soonended when, as a joke I put my finger over the nozzle of the hose and sprayed Henry in the face!

The unfortunate  result of all this was that I forgot to do my home work, (to finish colouring somthing that could easily be done at lunchtime) and instead spent the rest of my time creating an animation on scratch to go with the ostrich song:

Incase you want to sing along the lyrics are:

Daydreamin head’s in the sand, Daydreamin gee but it’s grand. I’m in love with an ostrich, All the neighbors complaining you see, But she loves me, Can’t help it if they don’t understand it. It’s fun to be in love with an ostrich, And if you haven’t tried it Don’t deny it my friend. ‘Cause it’s so much fun To go out in the sun Forget the rest of the world, With your head in the sand. Daydreamin head’s in the sand, Daydreamin gee but it’s grand. Walking down the street with my ostrich, All the people stare But I don’t care what they say. Find more similar lyrics on never says a word, She’s an agreeable bird, She takes my worries away. So if you find somebody who loves you, And your friends are all complaing, They’re not friends anyway. Just go out in the sun, ‘Cause it’s so much fun Forget the rest of the world, And put your head in the sand. Daydreamin head’s in the sand, Daydreamin gee but it’s grand. Daydreamin head’s in the sand, Daydreamin gee but it’s grand. Daydreamin head’s in the sand, Daydreamin gee but it’s grand. Daydreamin head’s in the sand, Daydreamin gee but it’s grand.


Now here’s an important occasion, it’s another birthday, mine!


A lot has happened in the past few days…

Hi people, this is a special anouncment! I haven’t written in the past few days so here are: The important things that happened!

My birthday

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! I am now 12 years old, I got some paints, some clay, some books, some DVDs, a little toy hedgehog called Paul and a projector! The projector has been a huge sucsess, it’s so bright that we can even watch it in the summer!!! Lately I’ve been painting a lot, I may upload a few pictures, I’ve also been moulding a lot. I got two types of clay, normal clay and special glow-in-the-dark stuff! I’m saving that for Halloween!!! Glow-in-the-dark ghosts, pumpkins, maybe even witcges, with glow in the dark eyes on their cats!!!

My birthday weekend

On Saturday we went to Aunty Jolene’s, after we met Aunty Carrie and Grandad at Sparkwell! We saw loads of animals, including tigers, lions, jaguars and lots of others! The next day we we went to @ Bristol! There’s a REAL HUMAN BRAIN (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plus a whole display just on animation!

Oh yes, and by the way, I’m in the school council, and possibly a detective agency, bye!

But I’m not the only one with a September birthday!


It’s a Boy! (or it could be a girl!)

  1. When we first got my fish I wanted to breed them, I thought that lots of baby fish would be cute, but my dad said that the pretty ones that are sold in pet shops are all males. That was years ago, so imagine my surprise today when I actually saw a baby fish in my tank! At first I thought that the must be hundreds of babies in there as fish lay dozens of eggs at a time, but I haven’t seen any others, so I think that as most fish eggs don’t all hatch at once then somewhere in my tank is a clutch of eggs. I might end up with millions of fish!

Here’s how:

  1. Two of my black neons mate and lay some eggs.
  2. The eggs hatch.
  3. My other black neons begin to mate, therefore creating more eggs!
  4. They hatch.
  5. All my baby fish grow up and start mating.
  6. Creating more eggs, who grow up and lay more eggs.
  7. As time goes on my fish bloodline gets bad and I have to buy even more black neons to help create more healthy fish. My whole tank becomes black with black neons.

And that’s just the black neons! I’ve got loads of other fish!

Then again this could be profitable. When their a bit older I could sell them! Too many fish is bad for the tank after all!!!

So we’ll probably see a lot more new arrivals! One wierd thing though. Apparently my tankhas completely the wrong sort of conditions as the eggs can be destroyed by light (!!!!!) How this species survives in the wild I’ll never know! Apparantly, from information I’ve gathered this is how it happens:

  1. The female swims and flops to the nearest aquarium and lays her eggs.
  2. She leaves them with the new owner to raise and release into the wild.

I mean come on! The parents eat their own babies, and the eggs are destroyed by light.

I’m really surprised that they’re not endangered.


Another important day in autumn is Halloween!!!

Happy Halloween!!!!!!

Today Aunty Carrie and Grandad came to visit. Normally for Halloween we go out the front door and go in the back, as trick or treating is not allowed in our village. This time we had a carefully formed plan:

  1. James and Henry change into their costumes while I go and tell Mum to distract the relatives.
  2. Mum gets Aunty Carrie and Grandad upstairs to show them something on her computer (I suggested Simon’s Cat.)
  3. We sneak out of the house through the back door, enter the utility room and knock on the front door. We then hide behind the big flower boxes either side of the door.
  4. Aunty Carrie and Grandad answer the door with my parents. But there seems to be no one there.
  5. We jump out and give them the fright of their lives (except Mum and Dad who’ll know what’s going on.)

Sadly that’s not what happened, here are a few things that went wrong.

  • Mum and Dad were busy so the brothers spent ages locked in James’s bedroom, unable to exit because they’d be seen wearing their costumes.
  • When she was finally ready Mum must have misunderstood my instructions. Rather than showing them something on her computer, upstairs, she kept them talking in the dining room. The front door and the back door can be seen from the dining room with the door open.
  • The weather decided to bucket down just to spite us, after a whole day of me bieng the only person going out side to look for a substituite for a broom stick it had to rain when we needed it to be dry.

Scurrying around like trapped rats we had few options.

  1. Go out the patio door. Pros, at least we’re outside. Cons, we’re unable to take torches, coats or even shoes.
  2. Try and sneak past the relatives. Pros, if it works the plan will go off reletively fine. Cons, if we’re seen the whole trick is ruined.
  3. Enlist Dad’s help.

In the end we chose 3 Dad chose to help us with 2. Under the pretence of going to get the headtorch, and shutting the door to prevent a draft Dad let us out into the utility room. We crouched by the door and listened for the sounds of Dad getting Mum away. Then I rapped hard on the door with my knuckles, several times.

Aunty Carrie and Grandad opened the door and we leapt out shouting: Rargh!

What did you do for Halloween? Please comment.

Whoooo! Bye! Whoooo!

Something very scary happened next!


The dinosaur take over.

Nothing much happened today . . .

After the dinosaur strolled down the road almost crushing the car, and the wooly mammoth battled with it right next to our house. The fur and scales flew, but eventually, they decided to call it a draw, shook aposable parts of their anatomy and played tag on the field opposite after they vaulted the hedge and chased away a few stray cows.

We went to the pirate ship, teradactyls soared above, we fed them bits of bread. The cats love all these dinosaurs, ever since scientists figured out how to make wooly mammoths they couldn’t stop, they’ve created a species of intelligent, domestic, herbiverous dinosaurs, thoughthey can be a bit of a safety hazard with those massive feet. I spoke to the T-rex who was playing with the mammoth, apparently his name is Raplurg and he and the other dinosaurs are working on building a seperate civilisation on Mars. It’s a bit embarrasing really, they’re already ahead of us in science, literature and technology, they’ve already invented a superfast rocket that funs on carbon dioxide and is capable of making it to the moon in ten minutes. We’ve been alive 1.9 million years 350 days longer than them, but two weeks on earth and they crack the secrets of time travel.

It’s almost annoying! Bye!

PS The whole of this post is a lie (though we did go to the pirate ship.)

Bye (again!)

Those dinosaurs sound a lot more pleasant than most of the boys in my class!

Helping people isn’t always good.

Today I helped someone. When you’re a little kid your always told that ‘helping people is fun!’

The boys are always calling Marcie pig. One time (during the infamous tutor group tim where, when asked to create a made up charity to do with the environment, Archie’s group came up with a charity for rabbits with rabies) Kenneth’s group came up with a charity with a porcine mascot, which they claimed to be Marcie (Meanwhile Mr Fairgrass said “that’s not nice.” How helpful!)

So Marcie persuaded me to help her, people are scared of me, in fact, only that morning I had chased Somerset and her boyfriend (I know it’s immature to tease her, but I don’t like the way that I am part of several relationships, all made up or missunderstood by those who talk about them, I can barely look at a boy. Whereas Somerset and the boy were disscussing how to meet eacch other after games publicly. It’s unfair!) Unfortunately, in helping her. I put my own head in a noose. I am now called Piglet. The boys all crowded round me at the end of the day, telling me that I wasn’t strong enough to get back at them (since I’d already got back at several of them on their own I think this was unfair, what was worse was that there was one of me and round about six of them. One boy Andy went over the top. Throwing insults at me, mainly piglet, they crowded round. Andy was talking about how weak I was so I hit him with a new fight move I invented on the spot.

  1. Pick a target.
  2. Swing your bag slowly over your head, getting faster and building up momentum.
  3. Step closer and continue swinging it, hitting your victim repeatedly.

I call it ‘Throwing the Hammer’ after the swinging movement.

Then I walked to the gate, turned round and said “Hows that for strength.” Then I walked off.


Who’s afraid of the big bad bully?

Yes, bullying, by other students! Here is a script for some events of my ‘bullying’

The Argument

Ghost House

I dwell in a lonely house I know That vanished many a summer ago, And left no trace but the cellar walls, And a cellar in which the daylight falls, And the purple-stemmed wild raspberries grow. O’er ruined fences the grape-vines shield The woods come back to the mowing field; The orchard tree has grown one copse Of new wood and old where the woodpecker chops; The footpath down to the well is healed. I dwell with a strangely aching heart In that vanished abode there far apart On that disused and forgotten road That has no dust-bath now for the toad. Night comes; the black bats tumble and dart; The whippoorwill is coming to shout And hush and cluck and flutter about: I hear him begin far enough away Full many a time to say his say Before he arrives to say it out. It is under the small, dim, summer star. I know not who these mute folk are Who share the unlit place with me– Those stones out under the low-limbed tree Doubtless bear names that the mosses mar. They are tireless folk, but slow and sad, Though two, close-keeping, are lass and lad, With none among them that ever sings, And yet, in view of how many things, As sweet companions as might be had.

Robert Frost
(We are asked to discuss this poem in our tables. Particularly how scary it is! Archie has the whiteboard, he is our scribe.)
ME: (Protesting) It is not scary!
ARCHIE: Yeah it’s terrifying!
ME: It isn’t, how do you feel fear?
OTHERS: (sticking up for Archie of course!) It scared us to death.
KIARA: It isn’t really that scary.
ARCHIE: Yes, it is.
(We argue for a while)
ME: (speaking to Kiara)
ONE OF THE OTHERS: Shut your mouth, nobody wants to hear what you think.
ME: Shut your ears! I was speaking to Kiara, you don’t have to listen.
ARCHIE: (Says something annoying.)
ME: Oh shut it idiots!
EVERYONE: Bully, bully!

The Thief

ARCHIE: Here’s a ruler.

KIARA: Thanks, (he pulls it away) Hey!

ARCHIE: Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!

(Later, whilst the teacher is telling us something.)

ARCHIE: (Whispered) Have a pen.

(The idiot is holding it by the lid. I snatch it off him before he can pull it away!)

ARCHIE: Mr Fairbanks, she nicked my pen!

ME: I didn’t, he gave it too me, there are lot of wittneses!



(Archie is sent out of the room for causing a disturbance.)


I don’t even have to do stuff, they can easily make it up.

Bully bye!


The happy puzzle company.

Today my class did some puzzles with the happy puzzle  company. Puzzles are supposed to help you think, but there wasn’t much evidence that the guy running it did many.

He put me with Somerset.

So here he is randomly putting us into groups when me and Somerset simutaneously say “we don’t want to work together.” This is the point when some totally random person decides to jump in and say

“Those two love working together.”

Of course some girl is much more reliable than us, she’ll know better than us if we’re friends or not. So he put us together.

This can be explained away, but here is the point where I lost faith in his intelligence:

He catches us fighting. Miawowing and hissing like cats (Somerset was making a joke against the boys for calling it a cat fight, and I was trying to show up her rubbish impression.) He saw us and said:

“Stop that fighting or I’ll seperate you.”

Is that a threat?


I was arty


24 days.

For those of you who have been wondering what I’ve been up to the past few months, it is time to enlighten you. I have been making an advent calendar. Not a paper one, but a cloth one with pockets (it also happens to be decorated with thomas the tank engine pictures, largely because I hardly ever use that material, so when I wanted a long unspoilt legnth of material it was perfect. It has turned out pretty good, mainly because the pattern looks like this:

 and therefore has many pictures of sheep and grass, as well Thomas and James. One thing that slightly worries me, I just looked the print up on this website: to find the picture. The site used words like vintage, rare and not often seen, “@%&!” I thought “It’s incredibly rare and I’m cutting it up to make a calendar!” Then I saw that they were selling it as a canvas, home made complete with staples and wooden struts all for a tenner, and felt better.

We bought the chocolate coins today, on the 30th of Now we’ll put them in the calendar. It’s the 20th today, so I’d better get a move on. I’m on 21 so far!


PS. It’s only 7 days ’till James’s birthday!

My artistic talent wasn’t all that exploded (figuratively)

Boom! Cabang! Splatasplatasplatatatataaa!

Today was bonfire night aka fireworks night, aka Guy Fawkes day aka that day with when we let off the fireworks for all you real weirdos.

So the day of the bangs is upon us, it’s weird the way it isn’t celebrated much in shops, I mean Halloween is like Christmas come early for a shopping centre, but the world-wide festival of fireworks, barbecue food, matches, woolies and soup. Yet you never get special isles in ASDA with all these things, and one of those puzzles on the floor with stuff like”Your leg was badly burnt by a spark from a fountain, hop to the next square.” or “Don’t forget to hold your arms out as if you’re holding a sparkler and don’t want your chest fried!”

I’ll never understand shops, one time Mum went to buy some last minute food just before christmas, and came back saying that the christmas trees had been taken down. Honestly!

So anyway, Bonfire night is great, but a few small animals can get scared and no I’m not talking about the cats, who handled the whole thing in a mature and safe manner, no, it was Henry who cowered at the back of the room!

James teased him loads. Until I recalled the time when he’d been outside when a firework went off and had dived under the garden bench. If you ask me, I think that the school have been talking to Henry about the horrors of fireworks, that’s why he’s scared.

Please comment and say about your bonfire nights, bye!

Speaking of art, I seemed to be doing a lot…


Haiku post.

This post will be short.

Nanna and Grandad have gone,

Parents liked the cake.

Fear of me drowning,

When I am having a bath,

So water inch deep,

chocolate cake gone,

Other one for bonfire night,

We eat tomorrow.

Girl needs to write things,

To get followers on blog,

Struggles to write more,

Post is right length now,

Subject interesting,

I stop now, goodbye!

I was insightful.


Interesting things about a visit to the museum.

There is a museum in Bristolwith loads of stuffed animals, they’ve even got a Thylacine! that link is for a newsround (sorry all you adults I couldn’t find a BBC news link) report on the Jurrasic park prize. The prize for the first people to bring an extinct species back to life. That Thylacine could be valuable to science. If you look here:

Document: [PDF] Plymouth University ‘Muirhead Memorial’ Herbarium you’ll see that there are several extinct species in the museum, just think of the DNA. But there are extinct species in a lot of museums there’s a great auk and a quagga in one of them. Beats me why all those scientists are trying to dig up mamoths in the arctic. Guess it’s because it’s easier, just insert the DNA into the xygote (or the thing in the womb of a pregnant female like 1 day after she’s mated.) of an indian elephant two years later, you’ve got a mammoth, or more  correctly  you’ve got a melephant, or a emoth, it would take years of selective breeding to create a mammoth, and would therefore need to be done in a zoo enviroment.

Sorry about that, I rambled on a bit there.

There’s also a Bengal Tiger, shot by one of the king George’s.

behind it is a picture of the king on an elephant, coming up behind it with a gun. A lot of people probably think that the tiger was shot and put in a pose to look like this, I think it was stuffed like this. Just look at a close up of it’s head:

Oooh scary isn’t he? Looks like he’s going to eat someone right? Wrong.

Look into his eyes, and look at the first picture again. His eyes are terrified, as he scrabbles in the undergrowth, not knowing if he’s going to run or dig his way out, crouching low to hide himself, but half knowing that it’s already too late. He looks desperate, the sad thing is that tigers all over india are going through this. Bieng shot and killed, some speies are in fact already extinct. They’re bieng shot, and for what?

  • Chinese medicine that doesn’t work. You know one shop in China was selling so called ‘dragons teeth’ and they turned out to be the fossolized teeth of an ancient human. Do you really think that murdering a tiger or plugging a tap into a bears stomach to get at it’s bile will really cure you? China, get a NHS.
  • Skins, listen everybody out there who likes tiger skin, it’s not worth it. Fake fur is much cheaper, you risk bieng aressted and we’re past the age when everybody goes “Wow a tiger skin” Now everyone says “Eww a tiger skin”.
  • To protect farm animals. Listen, would you take over half of someones house to make shoes say? You take all their shoes and wear them while you’re making your shoes, so if they wanted to go to the shops and they took a pair of shoes would you shoot them? The tiger’s habitat is bieng destroyed for farmland, the tiger’s prey is being hunted or dying from loss of habitat, and the tiger is bieng shot for trying to feed it’s family. Yes I do know the counter arguements, but surely there are better solutions than shooting the tigers.
  • This brings me nicely onto habitat destruction. Lumber, farmland and palm oil and other such prooducts, all kill tigers, and not just tigers. Every forest animal suffers when the forest vanishes. Orangutans, bears, wolves, birds, insects and of course tigers.

It looks as if we’ll soon be living in an animal free world, but we don’t have to. Look here to find out more:

Look into this tiger’s eyes, it’s too late to save him, but together we can help the others…


I had moments of triumph!

Poetry and the back of the bus.

This afternoon the school held a poetry afternoon for all the pupils who are gifted and talented at English. A poet named Peter Cann came, he taught us how to write preformance poetry, slightly insulting poems about people we know and short poems that we wrote in one minute. My best one was the slightly insulting poems  about people  we know. I did Henry. I certainly excersized my poetic licence, Henry can be quite a cry baby, but I did slightly exagerate… Like he the police don’t actually strap him to the top of their car to use him as a siren, and we don’t lend him to farmers to water their crops!

My preformance poem was quite good as well, we had to write each sentence like it was telling people not to do things that annoyed us. We wrote one big one as a class and then loads of little ones. My last line was:

Don’t do any of these things or you will make me very VERY VERY   ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I raise my voice gradually whilst saying the very part, so my ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!! is very loud. Peter Cann said it was a true peice of preformance art.

I wasn’t very good at the last one though, there aren’t many sights, sounds and smells that remind me of home. I just wrote about cows sheep and car engines for the sights and sounds, but the smells completely threw me, my house doesn’t smell of anything much.

I got to sit at the very back of the bus today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There were NO seats left, and the year sixes and sevens were just  pointing to spaces next to boys I don’t like, then a year eight moved her stuff and said I could sit at the back! The back is cool. I could survey the heads of everyone on the bus, look out the back window and say hi to all the ageist Year Sevens who think that Year Sixes should stay at the front. I never realised how high up it was, (the back seats are on a raised platform) I can understand why the Year Eights like sitting there, if your going to hog an area of seats you might as well have an interesting view. I barely read my book at all, I was busy savouring the journey I might not get to sit there again for another two years!

Bye Bye Now!

Idiots! The Chronicles of my bus.

Remember my last post about Year Sevens. Well I was right! They are Idiots! There were no free seats at the front so I had to sit at the back. The Year Sevens started their usual cries of “Go to the front!” “You can’t sit here!” and other such rubbish. When a boy decided to try a new idea, the first person to be called on this blog by the name that I use to reffer to him in real life, Dead Mouse For Brains or DMFB, decided to try leaning against me to block me off with his body! I stepped aside, and he fell over backwards. He got up and punched me as I went by!

Picture it: Poor little me, a Year Six girl, smallest in her class, up against a big burly Year Seven, amazingly tall! Of course I hit him back! Then I grabbed hold of his arm to stop him hitting me again. He is so annoying, he’s always swearing! Today he used the F word twice in one sentence!

After school my mum phoned up the school, so he’ll probably get into trouble!

Good Night.

The Chronicles Of Busia and other stuff.

I won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DMFB (Dead Mouse For Brains) wasn’t on the bus today, and just before games I had to identify him on a computer. Yes! Victoryyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, today I missed seeing the olympic torch cause I thought it would be boring, meaning that I was annoyed that the subject of our assembly was: Watch the torch through some live camera we’ve hooked up, and run around with an inflatible torch. Rubbish! Though I did enjoy the inflatable torch!

My Dad went to a meeting about Horse Shoe Woods, our class residential today.  I was a bit dissapointed, it turns out that by ‘artificial caving’ they didn’t mean going through a cave where all the rocks and stalagmites are plastic, it meant slithering along a metal pipe. Could be quite fun though. The biggest shock was the lights. I can usually only get to sleep by reading and getting tired, or listening to my walkman. Though one of the rules was no gadgets, I though I could survive three night reading, so when my parents told me that I could bring a reading lamp, I decided to go.

But when Dad got to the meeting, one of the teachers told him that a reading torch would be fine, but he’d better check with Mrs Charcoal. She told him that it would be lightsout by ten oclock, despite our earlier talks about midnight feasts, and that I couldn’t have a torch because I’d ‘be in a tent with other children!’

So what? A reading light is hardly going to blind them! And plus, I bet I’m not the only one who has trouble getting to sleep! Mum wrote to the school, hopefully they’ll see how unreasonable they’re being.

Now onto the biggest day of the year!


Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We wish you a merry christmas! I was woken up at the crack of dawn by Dad. We had to go to church. Afterwards we got to the important stuff.

 I got loads of books, loads of sweets,  loads of materials, a soft toy rabbit called Harriet, lots of DVDs, some cookery stuff and a sewing machine! I gave Mum and Dad keyrings made with my glow in the dark clay, that way they won’t lose their keys in the dark! Mum got a cat (because she likes them) and Dad got a crocodile (because he likes them.) I hid them behind the tree yesterday. I got a bit panicked when Mum said there were no presents there! Shock horror, had they been eaten by a cat? Swallowed by a vaccum cleaner? Stolen by a burglar?!! (OK probably not, it was hard enough for me to get behind there without breaking the glass decorations, an adult would have no chance!)

Luckily they were still there, Mum just hadn’t looked properly! :-D

We had a delicios Christmas breakfast of spaggetti and/or beans, vegetarian bacon (also known as facon! :)  ) and mushrooms and waffles (at least I think they were waffles, it’s hard to tell when you only have them once a year. ;)  )

Then we went on a walk to the levels.

We got home and I helped make tea. Mum bribbed me into eating a sprout using Yorkshire pudding!

L :-D  L

I’ve been using a lot of smileys lately haven’t I?!!

Here’s one you don’t often see:


A reindeer!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

And the day after


Happy Boxing day!

Today Aunty Carrie, Aunty Jolene and Grandad came round. Grandad had a go at fixing my sewing machine, even he knew I was dying of boredom, but he sh0wed me how to fix it, and I must have learnt something inbetween reading my book, because I just did it again, before I realised that the needle had snapped. Who knew it was so fragile, luckily I have some spares!

I got loads of presents this morning (We always have more presents on Boxing Day, half on Christmas, half on Boxing day.) Some books, more Rollos and a toy aardvark called Archie. He came with a code you can enter into a website called: Webkins. It’s not very good. It only lasts a year and all you can do is buy stuff of earn Webkins cash in an arcade. It’s a bit wierd because it’s a cute and fuzzy game, but your gambling! Like ‘make a wish’ you drop in a coin and objects float to the surface, some of these objects are wishing wells, you win a fiver for each of these, some of these objects are fruit, if you get, say two strawberries in a row you win some Webkins money, three cherries, even more money, three wishing wells in a row = Ca ching! You get like £1000 or a gift. There are some games too, some are pretty fun but, meh.

Aunty Jolene finally met Swiss. The thing is Swiss is a ragdoll, like she looks like this:

And she’s the size of a large cow. Though apparently her fur makes her look fat, ‘yeah’! The thing is James always says Aunty Jolene’s cat is fat, so when she sees his cat, she makes fun of it. Though to be fair, Swiss has got really long fur, whereas Aunty Jolene’s massive cat has short hair. Hmm… ;)


Happy new year folks!

Watching the telly

First I went to the cinema and saw Rise of the Gardians. Then I went home and watched the second half of Lord of the Rings. Soon I will watch a bunch of peoplesing Auld Lang Syne whilst fireworks sparkle around the london eye.

This means I have spents the whole of New Years Eve watching telly.

Happy New Year!

January may seem dull after Christmas, but I had something happen to melt the blues away!


Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Pour on water! Pour on water!

Today I was sitting writing in English, as opposed to sitting doing maths in English! Suddenly the power flashed off, I continued writing, it was daytime, I hardly needed the lights, they came back on and went back off, that’s when the fire alarm rang!!!

A few people screamed and we made our way to the playground. At first I thought it was a drill for two reasons:

  1. It was sleeting. How many fires can start on a sleety (sleetty? Sleetingy?) day?
  2. I subconciously didn’t want the school to go up in flames, at least not while my kindle and a pack of books I’d never read before as I got them on Monday.

But I was wrong.

A boy in my class had actually seen it happen, English 1  was on fire and the students had to be evacuated. We quequed outside in alphabetical order, well everyone who didn’t know there was a real fire was in alphabetical order. Those possessing this knowledge wandered around informing others.

Teachers with megaphones yelled incomphrehensible nonsense at us “This is ccck a drill”

(gesturing at year seven “cccck cafeteria!” So I went to the cafeteria, a few hours later my class turned up. I could see my form tutor and head of year looking at me and chuckling.

You can imagine the scene:

People chatting to the right of me,

People chatting to the left of me,

while I sat in the middle trying to remember the lyrics to all the songs in: Joseph King of Dreams.

Even in emergency I am left out. I noticed that a girl on the opposite table had a copy of Double act, a book that, though it is good, I probably wouldn’t read at home. I became desperate to own that book. I wasn’t really bored at first (though I did keep sneaking quick glances at the book) because Mr Basil started talking for an hour and three quatres, eventually though, he ran out of steam. I begged for the book, when my pleas were ignored I begged for a different book. This owner actually gave me their book, but sadly a lot of people were starting to leave, so she had to go, taking the book with her. I was going mad, I had thought I was so safe, leaving my stuff when the alarm when, now if they’d handed me a knife I would have killed myself. I moved towards people I thought were my friends, they grunted to breifly aknowledge my existence and then continued their riveting conversation. I finnally got a book of a girl and settled down to read, until the lady came to collect me for a Oak Plants (Not the real name).

The Oak Plants website shows two seperate rooms of fun and describes a canteen for your child, there is also a telly. We saw no such things.

In real life, me and James used many words to describe it his usually began with b and ended with oring. Whereas mine began with h and ended with ell on earth. The first thing, our choice for tea was either cheese and cucumber sandwiches or couscous, our choice for lunch was the same. Now I always thought couscous looked like this:


But no, they apparently look like this:


And it tastes disgusting, but as they had to make up a special batch for me (after they’d miscounted the number of hot meals supposed to be made. ) I decided to push it round my plate for an hour and a half, just to be polite. Unfortunately they seemed to think they were parents! For instance, James finnishes his meal and goes off to play tether ball, suddenly somebody says “Did you ask to get down?” so he has to go back and ask and then these complete strangers are standing over me telling me to “Have one more mouthfull it’s not that bad!” (Not that bad, I threw up in my mouth and really struggled to keep it down! Sorry if your eating.)

We stayed there for five hours! Five hours! At least Henry liked it and I found a new way to torture James. (Find a twister mat and give them impossible instructions like: put your left foot in the right corner and your right foot in the left corner) We never have to go there again.

School’s off tommorow and on Friday, I just hope my stuff is OK (that is something else that annoyed me a tiny bit, all through the ride to Oak Plants I was worrying about my stuff, but the lady just kept repeating “the most important thing is that everyone is safe.” yeah, but she might say it differently if it was her kindle bursting into flames.) Oak Plants ended up as being OK, the only thing really wrong with it is that it has terrible food and is boring, other than that it’s great!


PS Before you ask, nobody was hurt in the fire.

Oak Plants was my version of Hell, except I got brainfreeze!


Oak Plants

Nothing happened today, there was no school because of the fire, so I’ve decided to use this post to complain about Oak Plants.

  1. The Food: It was terrible. Not only were we having to eat couscous, but we had these dragon ladies standing over us watching our every move. I don’t understand why they don’t just serve pizza. They seem to be saying “We can’t feed them unhealthy food, so we’ll just feed them food that automatically makes them try to starve themselves to death!”
  2.  They seem to be very stereotypical about vegetarians. Like when James refused a cheese sandwich (until he found out it had cucumber in it) “You’re a vegetarian, and you don’t like cheese!” or with me “You’re a vegetarian and you don’t like vegetables?” they actually laughed! So aren’t veggie’s allowed to dislike things (especially things as inedible as vegetables!)
  3. The books. So you’re a bookworm, the sort of person who spends their time at Oak Plants buried in a book. Yet these peoople think you’ll be satisfied with the sort of books you find in dentist waiting rooms. And as for the toys, all on high shelves out of reach. In amongst these is a computer that looks like generations of kids have played with it, but, despite being in a playroom, this is strictly forbidden (though nobody mentions this until you touch it!)


The next festival was Valentines, but judging by this post I wasn’t in love, at least I hope I wasn’t!


My attempt at an A-Z of animals we saw at the zoo

Today we went to the zoo, we saw:





Extremely strange things (like the fact that there was nothing beginning with E!)





Just no animals beginning with J

Klearly no K’s



Neanderthals (that went by the names of Henry and James :-D  )



Quite unusual to find nothing beggining with Q




Unbelivably no U’s

Very few V’s

Wester-lowland Gorillas

X-( no X’s

You guessed it no Y’s

Zoo’s seem to be unable to care for an animal of each letter.


I may not have got chocolate for valentines, but I didn’t go hungry!


I haven’t written in a while…

Uncle Percy has been, stayed overnight and left. He brought the boys smoothies and tubes of mini eggs. He gave me a chocolate hedgehog! Seriously!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Cute!!!! This is from the Waitrose Woodland Friends website, I want another one of these at Easter. There are owls and a frog too, but they aren’t as good.

I had to force myself to eat it, it was to cute to eat! But after I’d had a bite I couldn’t stop, almost half of it has vanished over the last two days!

I’ve been packing for Kiln lodge our residential this year, I’m staying two nights so don’t expect a post in the next two days. We had a bit of trouble with the personal first aid kit they wanted, shoud I bring plasters, anesthetic and a defibulator? In the end we just shoved some plasters in my washbag.


I had lots of chocs a month later!

I’m in Scotland over Easter so here’s a poem.

Tommorow I leave for Scotland. I probably won’t be able to post this Easter, so here’s an Easter poem:

‘Twas The Night Before Easter

‘Twas the night before Easter when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Baskets were hidden ready for the sweets,

chocolate, creme- eggs and other lovely eats.

The children were nestled, all snug in their beds,

While rabbits and baby lambs danced in their heads.

With the brothers in their bedrooms, and me in my cap,

had just settled our brains for a Spring night’s nap.

When out on the lawn there came such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter,

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw back the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-grown flowers,

Shone bright despite the early hours,

Then to my wandering eye came an image so funny,

There on the grass stood the jolly Easter Bunny.

He hopped a lot, it seemed quite a habit,

I knew it must be the Easter Rabbit,

He bounced like a kangaroo with springs on his legs,

And his nose twitched as he called out the colours of his eggs.

“Now red, now, blue, now purple with Stripes!

“Now black, now yellow, now turqoise, now white!

Behind the porch! On top of the wall!

Hide them, hide them, hide them all!

As dry leaves that stay in the place where they fell,

Whether under on top of a bush or down in a well,

They’d roll for a bit, then suddenly stop,

Then all around them the rabbit would hop.

And then in a twinkling I heard in the dirt,

The prancing and pawing of each little foot,

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

The bunny leapt to the door with a bound.

He was covered all in fur, from his head to his tail,

A rabbit the size of a very small whale,

A basket of eggs he carried on his back,

and he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled, his whiskers, how merry!

His teeth were all sticking-out, his nose like a cherry!

His brown, big ears stood up straight as a line,

and the fur on his back had a parting so fine.

The stump of a carrot held tight in his teeth,

And the leaves they encircled his head like a wreath,

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed like a bowllful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a jolly little bunny,

I laughed when I saw him, he looked so funny!

A wiggle of his tail and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And hid all the eggs then turned with a jerk,

And with a waffle of his nose and a wink of his eye,

He hopped away and waved goodbye!

He sprang with his basket in a sort of jog,

And hop-ran away like an exitable frog.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he hopped out of sight,

“Happy Easter to all, and to all a good-night!”


PS: Here’s the original poem, read it, it makes mine seem funnier:

I still celebrated Easter, though I think my teacher might have tried to change my mind!


The dangers of sitting cross-legged!

Should be banned!!!

Should be banned!!!

Sitting cross legged is dangerous.

Today during assembly I sat cross legged for so long I lost all feeling in my foot. When I stood up at the end it was like balancing a-top a cricket ball. My foot fell of side-ways causing me to trip. As I sat rubbing the feeling back into my sleeping foot it began to feel better and I managed to limp to the door. My foot began to feel as normal … Before crippling pins and needles left me limping again.

I’ve never been comfotable with it anyway. I’m one of those people who limps away from assembly, pins and needles stabbing my every step!

Unfortunately I had to sit cross legged soon after. We had a drama lesson and Mr. Fairgrass invented this wierd new game near the end to help us concentrate.

We had to pretend we were part of a strange new religion and this little toy chinese good luck cat (whom we named Mew-Chu) was our holiest object (but you could tell that by holiest object he meant ‘God’!)

There were rules like:

  1. During prayer time nobody must laugh, talk, or disrespect the great Mew-Chu in any way.
  2. During prayer time one must be in a position for prayer (which in Mr Fairgrass’ world is sitting cross legged.
  3. Nobody can get too close to the great Mew-Chu and nobody must avert their gaze away from him.
  4. Everybody has to be called brother or sister. I don’t mean in a ‘family’ kind of way, I mean in a nun or monk kind of way.
  5. Mr Fairgrass is the Grandmaster aka high priest, guru, Pope ect. (I kept wanting to yell out to everyone “I have been touched by the great Mew-Chu, he has chosen me to serve him as the new Grandmaster!”)
  6. Any brother or sister caught breaking the rules of the high church of the great Mew-Chu must be brought before the Grandmaster to be told their forfeit. The four whom disgraced themselves in the presence of Mew-Chu were sentenced to three forfiets. The first few were sentenced to walk around the circle clucking like chickens. The third had to crawl around on all fours, the third had to ask Sarah’s hand in marriage. Judging by how everything else had gone if Sarah had excepted she would have had an interesting ceremony. I can imagine her now, kneeling before the Great One, both lovers sleeping at opposite ends of the playing field on beds of pencil shavings. Blind-folded, only able to uncover their eyes and speak again when, in full gaze of Mew-Chu the Grandmaster joined them in holy matrimony!

Did I mention the cat was just a head with arms, legs and ears? With a really cross face?

Just join us, and the Great one will give you eternal blessing.

My art did not die.

My day:

Toad in the hole

I made toad in the hole and chips for tea. It is a hard dish to make as it involves a lot of hot batter and sausages.


We went shopping to get pizza (note the toad in the hole and chips) tommorow we’re ordering Chinese \(^o^)/!


I heard about this thing called the poetry games, problem was you have to write your poem about stuff you care about. One of the options was current afairs so I wrote this (they asked for it!):

Horse Meat

There is horse meat in our beef,

Black Beauty’s on the shelves,

We say it’s bad to be so cheap,

but we’ve eaten some ourselves!

We complain to the shops,

for selling us horse pie,

said the shop manager,

“’tis farmers fault not I.”

We complain to the farmer,

about our burgers and beef sauces,

he says we should be understanding,

for budget reasons his cows are horses!

We complain to the government,

but our tempers run their  courses,

we’re calmer until we uncover the truth,

The goverment’s made up of horses!

So whenever you see expensive food,

and you think its you their robbin’

don’t care to much about the cost,

at least it’s not boiled down Dobbin!

Pretty cool, eh?

I lost the pirate ship to safety gone mad!

Come to the circus and see the garden centres troupe of babboons!!!


Today two things happened one good one bad, they both happened at the garden centre:

The Good Thing

We went to Paulos Circus (it was set up in the Garden Centre) It was magical. We had candyfloss, saw clowns and acrobats. Here are some of the acts (not counting a comic man who acted in between doing jokes and on one occasion plate spinning. A more dignified man showed up once or twice as a double act.):

  • A team of me who limbo-ed under a flaming limbo pole.
  • Two acrobats.
  • A juggler who balanced on a plank of wood while tossing those bowling pin things.
  • One of the acrobats solo.
  • A team of black men skipping dressed in faux fur loincloths, chestcloths and shoes while Shakira’s ‘This Time For Africa’ played in the background. I’d say it was slightly rascist, but they were black and they’d chosen the costumes.
  • Intermission (when we had candyfloss served by the acrobat lady)
  • The acrobats again.
  • A man in an astronaut costume dancing with the juggler.
  • A young girl acrobat climbing up a rope and doing gymnastics while wrapped in it.
  • The team of black men doing gymnastics in slightly less realistic versions of their previous costumes.
  • The End.

The Bad Thing

Many of you will have heard me speak of the pirate ship. A play area at our local garden centre.

It was mostly a ship. A replica of a ship sailing on a barky sea. Inside was everything a pirate could need. A cabin, a crows nest, wrigging, a hold, cannons , three stearing wheels, two slides and even a brig and plank (though eventually blocked of by a weedy easily climbable board.) Paintings of pirates adorned the walls. On one side of it were the sinking ends of a ship split in two, both curved triangles pointing at the sky, a zip wire between them. Those of you who are old friends of this blog remember the many descriptions of moves, of games in which we ran from it, our assailant, but all was in jest.

On the otherside, cut off from marine theme, a truck with giant all terrain wheels, a slide at the back, climbable bonnet and roof, open space where the engine should be that doubled up as the best hiding place in the area, and a steerin wheel and buttons for those still at the ‘Brrrm Brrrm I’m driving a car’ stage.

All of these made it unnique.

It happened when we went there. It had been shut for many weeks for safety reasons (in other words: it was a bit wet) Dad joked that when we got there it would just be a soft play area. We never dreamed how right he was…

We saw the corner of the ship, newly painted red, (though James thought the colour was too different, if he’d known what was coming next he’d have been pleased if the whole place was bright magenta pink!)

We could only see a corner behind the trees (it is a garden centre!) but we kept going. We could see a corner, a bigger corner, a quatre… and that was it.

Our beloved ship was gone…

Sliced off at the side by what seemed to be the carving knife of a giant, chopped up into little bits.

The quatre stood in the middle, out of place amongst the wreck. The pirates had been bested, their remnants of their ship lay floating around where it had once stood. The old things were still there, but a lot more rubbish. They’d kept the brig, but sliced off the door so there was no more ‘locked up’ atmosphere. The pirate cellmate stood frowning behing bars, the only survivor.

They’d kept the places where the swing-thing was, but in one side of the sinking ship was a bench, and in the other a hole had been cut for the slide.  The open, metal classic one, not the massive orange tube one. Even the slide was worse, they had made it shorter by making the bit that touches the ground longer.

The  crowsnest was no longer high up, only reachably by rigging (or for the less adventurous, climbing up a ladder or the slide.) it was on the ground and looked less like a look out’s post for men of old and more like a dustbin.

A few planks of wood with a wooden cross on top and a cannon bobbed along. I felt envious and saddened by the two young children I saw enjoying it. Envious because they were having fun where I couldn’t, saddened because their ‘ship’ was pitiful compared to the old thing.

The rest had been sliced and diced and made into a make shift obstacle course to circle the graveyard of lost playtime. That which I have described to you is all that is left.

We had to practically gag James to prevent him from calling the people at the front desk babboons and gibbons to their faces!


I wrote more poetry!


The best day ever!

Today James and Henry were gone… bliss! We had a take-away pizza because whenever  the bros. go to their friends house (as they did today) they always come back telling tales of having whole takeaway pizzas to themselves. :P  mmmmm…. Pizza….

Aaarchhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Pizza!

Aaarchhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Pizza!

By the way here’s a poem by me:

Rally the troops

Rally the forces,

Gather the men,

Gather the horses,

Prepare for the battle,

Prepare for the fight,

Under cover of darkness,

Under cover of night.

Hear plans of ambush,

Hear plans of surprise,

check for the untruths,

check for the lies,

Don’t notice the screams,

Don’t notice the wails,

Take heed of the stories,

Take heed of the tales,

Out in the heat,

Out in the sun,

Just you and your weapon,

Just you and your gun,

‘Till, the battle’s over,

‘Till the battle’s end,

You sit with your mate,

You sit with your friend.

Wondering if the fighting will stop,

Wondering if the fighting will cease,

Wondering if there’ll be quiet,

Wondering if there’ll be peace.


That’s it so far.

Sorry about the ‘clip-show’

To make up here’s a ‘deleted scene’ (never before seen content!)

The Journey

Here at last! We spent most of yesterday travelling. When we got to Chambord I was glad we were only staying for one night. Mum and Dad were thrilled with the big, cool, roomy living room/kitchen, but they didn’t have to sleep in the small, hot, cramped bedroom! All mobile homes have one bedroom with a double bed and one bedroom with two beds, one with a top bunk. The space varies, I’ve slept in some rooms were they have an extra toilet coming off them at the side, this was not one of them. It was so small that to get to my bed (the top bunk) you had to skip a few rungs of the ladder and stand on James’ bed!

Still, sleeping arrangements in some of the mobile homes aside, Chambord is a nice place. It has a play area with all the usual stuff, but it also has some cool exercise machines, so all the kids play on them. The pool at Chambord is magnificent. It is really four separate pools including a bubble bath (which they’d drained for some reason) and The Lazy River (which is a bit like Rocking Rapids only better.)

We brought the crocodile with us, and I blew him up single handedly, so me and James could play our sailing game, in which we try to sail on the croccy across the the pool, under the little bridge, past the bubble bath, into the shallow end and then back again. But James said that it wouldn’t work because the crocodile had a hole in him and kept deflating, which I didn’t think mattered as me James find this  game fun because we keep cap-sizing and sinking, if you ask e he was just afraid of the cold water, I was proved right when James kept saying that we could go round the Lazy River with the crocodile, so it’s too deflated for the cold pool, but perfectly fine for the warm pool.

Luckily, I discovered that the croccy was great for going down the slide and I had a great time.

That was yesterday, now I’m in the Pyranees, in a jeet! A jeet is a French word for a holiday house, James and Henry still have to share, though it’s not as cramped, and I have a room to myself!!!

My room is red and white, it has a duvet and pillows set with elephants on them. I’ve got a few shelves for my books too.

Mum and Dad keep talking about how we’re moving, on the bad side I’ll leave all my friends, the badger, my debating group and everything I like, on the plus side after school, (which Mum seems to think will be full of kids like me, who 2hate playing tag and prefer to read all lunchtime) I can play in our garden, which is going to have a small wood in it! Mum and Dad say we can have a zip wire, and a tree house, how are we going to have time to play with it all?!!

I like the idea though, especially the idea of a wood, we could put toy animals and fairy lights in the trees.


A nice relaxing time on a donkey, NOT!

Last time we went to Gevarny it was horrific. When we reached the top of the massive mountain we were on our knees, so this time Mum and Dad hired us a donkey. We expected something that would carry us up effortlessly and be easy for us to lead. We got Napoleon.

Our first slight problem was Henry, he saw the donkey and was terrified. James decided to get on first and I was to lead, unfortunately Napolean was hungry, very hungry. Every time he came across horse or donkey dung he had to sniff it and every time he came across some plants he had to eat them. And you try leading a massive donkey away from food! Of course the worst time was when THE WHITE DONKEY WITH THE BLACK SPOTS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) turned up, Napolean decided to talk to him, and didn’t seem to notice that he was dragging me along the ground after him I have horrible wounds from that experience! James didn’t want to ride him after that, so Mum tried him, but he kept almost going over the edge, I tried him next and it was FUN!!!

Much better than walking and when we finnally got to the top we  had another surprise, it turns out that unlike the myths that mice only eat cheese, or dogs only eat bones, or cats only drink milk, donkeys do love carrots! It was my idea to bring them; he ate all but one of them at the top while we had ice creams, then at the bottom he finished off the last one!


PS I’ll expect birthday comments below! 🙂 And (bad grammar!) if you think I’ve missed out an important one then:

Nothing much Sorry!

Please :(

Please :(


The dog’s name is Sorry Dog, not exactly imaginative for a wannabe writer, but look at his little face!