Oh the unfairness of it all!!!

Mrs Jennings, the headmistress, has just announced that our school is really going to crack down on uniform, so all this work I’ve been doing has been totally ignored. Yet apart from some ridiculous fears about winning and then suddenly discovering that my polo shirt doesn’t fit or has started to itch I am very pleased about this campaign.

If you’re planning a classroom revolt then here are some top tips:

  1. Seek out our year rep and ask her how the council reacted to the questions raised about uniform (alternatively you could see if they’re on the minutes for last week’s meeting.)
  2. Find a likely looking person and casually talk to them, squeezing out things like, are they pro or anti polo shirt,  do they think it’s fair that the pupil voice has been muffled, would they fight back if they could?
  3. If the answer to all but one of these questions is yes, then ask them if they want to take part in a mutiny, oh for the days when I could assure you that the thought of telling wouldn’t have crossed their minds. Now I can only warn you to pick your allies carefully a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, don’t pick links that’ll snap before your chain is begun.
  4. On the agreed date everyone should come in wearing polo shirts, please don’t confuse should with will. Just because they’ve said so, doesn’t mean that their nerves won’t get the better of them. It’s not their fault, we humans are pack animals, and ancient human packs probably had a hierachy, it is instinct to obey those above you in the hierarchy, and your parents.

So to disobey these people who for loads of subconscious are pack leaders and part time parents is against a lot of instincts. I’ve mentioned two, here are some others:

  • Survival. Your brain knows that the most teachers can do is expulsion, your subconscious beleives tht they aren’t above fighting you to the death.
  • Sheep instinct (my name for it) this is when a group of humans follow each other aroun and all do the same thing. You’ve never seen anyone like that you say? Well have you or someone you know ever seen something everyone else has got and had to have it? Sheep instinct. This isn’t a problem normally, but there is fear of the sheep  instinct. A fear that everyone else isn’t doing  it  and you’ll be the only one.
  • Hypnosism. Hey! Don’t tell me you never wondered why, when we have the power to rule the school, we obey a few teachers, they  have powers.
  • Bye!

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