Ye olde visite toe ae castlee! (That’s olde Englishe. I think!)

Today my mum had to teach at a tutorial in Cardiff, so me, my dad and my little brothers ( or my dad, my little brothers and I) all went to Cardiff Castle! (Trumpet Fanfare goes here.) Before that we had to trek miles over endless pavement to reach some not-ham! Not-ham is great, it isn’t made by massacring innocent animals (as  you can probably guess, I’m a vegetarian) and it tastes great! Of course this is advertising, which many people get payed for. (Hint. Hint. Any one from the Quorn company reading this, please note that actually giving me money would be impossible as it would reveal my true identity, and make me unable to write anything bad about my teachers. So don’t feel like you have to give me money. Leave it under the wicker man along the M5 and I shall collect it under cover of darkness!) Anyway, after our long trek we visited the castle. It actually looked really out of place! Picture your classic castle, surrounded by rolling parkland (if there’s an earthquake, if there isn’t the parkland stays still.) trees, hedges, flower gardens, fountains and the occasional wild animal like deer. Now picture Cardiff Castle surrounded by rolling streets, (if there’s an earthquake.) houses, hotels, pigeons and the occasional fountain or flat area of grass.

I half expected it to just be one of those shops that looks like a castle and probably sells either clothes, food, books or little models of characters from Disney. But no, it was a castle! Inside there was loads of grass, a catapult and another smaller castle. It was so cool! The Victorian bit was full of animals! We were given one of those ‘find the object’ trails and though usually they’re quite easy, this one was SUPER-HARD!!!!!! The animals were so well hidden! One time we had to find some dog head fire ends, we found them in a room and then spent ages looking for the other animals that were supposed to be in there. We gave up and left, resolving to come back later, only to discover that we’d been in the wrong room! We also spent ages looking for some ants in the library, we looked everywhere! Then we left and asked the lady in the entrance hall to show us where they were. She pulled back a few ropes and we found the ants engraved on a table, IN A ROPED OFF AREA!!! We then set about finding every animal in the Entrance Hall, including a little dog in a painting on the wall in a roped off area. They should really think about their roped off areas. But other than that it was great fun!!!

Next we went up the castle listening to audio guides where appropriate, I found two room full of arrow slits! You could crawl along a passage way and look out into a beautiful view! I took a photo with my Dad’s camera through one of what my little brother James called ‘mouse arrow slits’, which are little square holes in the rock. James went on and on saying constantly, “Don’t worry Dad, you can delete the photo later!” but, because it had bits of the castle showing through the hole, it turned out to be a very arty looking photo!

Then my Dad took photos of my brothers looking down on him, (on the ground) from a massive arrow slit, with a fence to stop people from falling. I went into the room above and hid in one of the smaller slits. I’m in both of my brothers photos, but you have to zoom in at the top to see me!

I would say that all in all it was a perfect day! Longe Livee Ye Cardiffe Castlee! (That’s olde Englishe. I think!)


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